Miscellaneous: Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel...

By squirrel - 09/01/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 903

You deserved it 42 501

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Same thing different taste

By YOURMOM - 31/12/2011 07:24 - United States

Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 053

You deserved it 6 008

By fisted - 12/06/2015 13:42 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was out for a walk, wearing a T-shirt with a fist on it and the words "Bump it." A guy came up to me, looked at my shirt, shrugged, and punched me in the stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 947

You deserved it 11 737

By bbbkingsey - 23/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 883

You deserved it 4 373

By fml - 03/09/2013 06:31 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 530

You deserved it 12 104

By bettercallpeta - 15/02/2013 05:42 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 084

You deserved it 11 153

By Username - 23/12/2010 14:48 - Canada

Today, I was in a store with my dad. He completely lost his temper and began yelling at the store owners. For some reason, he then removed his shirt in protest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 441

You deserved it 3 026

By Anonymous - 23/05/2015 07:03 - United States - Tampa

Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 130

You deserved it 2 529

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 15:44 - United States

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 580

You deserved it 2 558

By itchybollos - 16/09/2010 09:04 - Australia

Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 064

You deserved it 3 346

By Anonymous - 22/08/2014 18:41 - United States - Doylestown

Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 119

You deserved it 42 999

blasko1022 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 12:32

finally, im not the only person in america who has that shirt

D_Thr33 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 14:06

Well, you should have been protecting your nuts.

Comments

Houndourpup 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 16:06

HAHAHA

BikerMike 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 16:13

kick your dad in the balls

Sekococo 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 16:16

i blame foamy the squirrel

arandomboy 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 16:19

ydi for not protecting your nuts

marc_with_a_c 3

Saturday 9 January 2010 16:31

You should have protected them!

melmcr 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 16:36

I love your dad's sense of humor. YDI

j_Leigh15 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 16:56

# 23 is right

wtsc 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 17:33

I hope you are infertile now. YDI

waterynuggets 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 17:33

Oh, please. Walk it off. If you can't look back on this in like a week and laugh, then you suck. Your dad is awesome.

Buckeyehead 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 17:42

haha! I have that shirt!

Keywords

DIY Cats Miscellaneous Family Management Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Coworkers Relatable Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Love Anxiety Mental health Technology Health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 635

You deserved it 42 712

Today, my best friend called me to cancel our mall plans. I could hear that she was watching a movie in the background. I then called my boyfriend to see if he was busy, and I could hear the same movie in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 310

You deserved it 157

The Top

Today, I told a guy he should be ashamed of himself for parking in a handicapped space. He hit me with his prosthetic leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 004

You deserved it 96 591

Today, I accidently sent that my butthole was on fire to a group chat with my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 742

Today, I texted the guy I went out with last night. He'd told me he’d text me when he got home, but he never did. Cracking a joke, I asked him if he was homeless or something, since he broke his word. He replied, “No, I’m just not that into you. Have a nice life.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 486

Today, my family yelled at me for being a "selfish disappointment." My crime? Not being able to help my sister's boyfriend do his homework while I'm working on my class finals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 812

You deserved it 130

Today, the phone rang, it was some woman who wanted to speak to my dad. “It’s probably his mistress,” I said jokingly. Turns out it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 987

You deserved it 206

Today, my father said I only voted for Biden "because I watch the news." He's a hardcore Trumpster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 535

Same thing different taste

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