Poopoo peepee and Love: Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon...

By SprinklerDodger - 08/06/2012 23:54 - Denmark - Odense

Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon investigation, I discovered my very drunk, giggling girlfriend attempting to urinate standing up. Carefully note the word "attempting". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 717

You deserved it 2 423

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By gp28 - 18/02/2010 20:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 930

You deserved it 4 011

Completely wet

By Anonymous - 27/02/2020 20:00

Today, I was drinking too much and I have to pee constantly, so I went to bed without my girlfriend. Hours later she woke me up wanting sex, but she realized that I pissed the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 2 037

By jessefonsexy. - 07/12/2010 11:08 - United States

Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 141

You deserved it 2 772

By locksmack - 14/06/2009 12:46 - Australia

Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 897

You deserved it 58 063

Tasty

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 20:00

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 297

By Anonymous - 15/05/2013 20:21 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 676

You deserved it 4 572

Party animal

By Laci - 30/04/2011 17:50 - United States

Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 932

You deserved it 23 219

By Fark - 27/05/2010 22:50 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 328

You deserved it 4 962

By Harry Dare - 02/09/2011 16:31 - United Kingdom

Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 993

You deserved it 4 322

Put the booze down

By Anonymous - 13/08/2020 14:01

Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 2 085

NothingsEasy 4

Saturday 9 June 2012 9:17

And that's why you don't over drink ladies and gentleman

yoursucklives 36

Saturday 9 June 2012 9:16

that was bound to fail.

Comments

zeldaluvr2007 15

Saturday 9 June 2012 10:27

Hope your bathroom floor has tile/linoleum ;) if not, that'll be a pain to get out of carpet.

hecallsmedarlin 7

Saturday 9 June 2012 11:40

Since when has anyone had a carpeted bathroom? I have never seen it. If you have, the person who did it made one stupid mistake...

shrdlu 28

Saturday 9 June 2012 18:35

I remember one carpeted bathroom, because my cigarette burned the carpet.

ebbyblock 4

Sunday 10 June 2012 8:38

It happens. Grew up with carpet there for 15 years. Finally remodeled with marble tile and dang it is cold now.

writerchic85 25

Thursday 25 June 2015 11:18

There is carpet in both my bathrooms. I thought it would be gross but it's nice and warm on my feet. I do want to get it replaced with tile though.

pablopoo 7

Saturday 9 June 2012 10:34

Cool gf haha has humor ur lucky:)

failureusername 12

Saturday 9 June 2012 11:06

Sorry about your floor OP, hopefully she will be the one cleaning up the mess once she sobers up.

LoganBurrito 6

Saturday 9 June 2012 11:37

If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat.... And the floor.

hecallsmedarlin 7

Saturday 9 June 2012 11:45

Was she singing, "Anything you can do, I can do better.."?

LuckyLynx7732 5

Saturday 9 June 2012 12:34

And that is when you let her pass out on the bathroom floor for the night.

emilyjgraham 34

Saturday 9 June 2012 12:39

eh? just cus she's going to the toilet doesn't mean she can't hold her drink! puking is different but wee?

donut_gurl 8

Saturday 9 June 2012 13:29

i think she succeeded on urinating standing up, but failed while attempting to get it in the toilet bowl. Also, some girls can do this. i bet Op's missed the bowl once or twice in his life

hecallsmedarlin 7

Saturday 9 June 2012 21:06

Men ALWAYS get a little on the seat. Like when their flow is just about done and it turns into driplits... And then when they decide to shake it before putting it back. .... I always wondered why they do not use toilet paper to dry off the little remainder when they are finished... Who wants to walk around with little drops of pee in their underwear?! Meanwhile how disrespectful it is since the girlfriend is probably getting ready to put it in her mouth soon. Haha...gross, now that I think of it....