Kids: Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with...

By Anonymous - 18/03/2011 09:25 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 156

You deserved it 4 173

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Same thing different taste

Doggy dog world

By bigdaddy - 25/09/2009 15:01 - United States

Today, while I was brushing my teeth, my 5 year old-son walked into the bathroom. He gave me a mean look and said, "That's Sammy's toothbrush, not yours." I've been brushing my teeth with the dog's toothbrush for two months now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 294

You deserved it 8 591

By badmom101 - 16/05/2009 11:26 - Canada

Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 691

You deserved it 6 400

By snapped - 13/11/2009 04:19 - United States

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 118

You deserved it 9 447

By baldspot - 02/04/2012 05:38 - Australia

Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 981

You deserved it 2 886

By Anonymous - 02/11/2014 19:47 - Australia - Werribee

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 992

You deserved it 4 772

Shame on you!

By Bjax - 11/10/2017 16:00

Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5am to tell me she was mad at me. Apparently I did something bad in her dream. She still won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 734

You deserved it 395

By RomanceFail - 02/04/2015 12:51 - United States - Crestwood

Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 041

You deserved it 3 381

By hair2daygone4ever - 14/01/2010 15:45 - United States

Today, my four-year-old daughter thought it'd be funny to cut my hair while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 608

You deserved it 4 772

Gummy

By madeleine - 08/04/2021 05:00

Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 292

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 563

You deserved it 3 442

elainelovesyou 7

Friday 18 March 2011 16:00

Just give her a new one.

DocBastard 38

Friday 18 March 2011 16:14

Pick your battles. She will forget about it soon. But the more you push, the more she will push back and the longer she will remember.

Comments

Miss_Birthday 3

Friday 18 March 2011 22:13

Well ask her where the dog and toothbrush are, see what she says.

awardZu 0

Friday 18 March 2011 23:36

For every time she hit you with the pillow, you take away a toy. Every time she refuses to brush her teeth, spank her butt. Be a parent instead of a pansy.

DarkJoy_fml 5

Saturday 19 March 2011 0:13

That's what I was thinking. It sounds to me like this kid is spoiled otherwise she would not be acting like this. You should have some parenting techniques to compel your five your old to do something that you want them to do. Going out to get a new toothbrush isn't the solution because it is only going to make the child realize that they can get away with whatever they want and Mom is going to comply with their demands. I'm all about taking away toys/time-outs. I was never spanked as a child, but I know many people that were and they turned out fine. OP needs to develop a stronger distinction between the parent/child role.

RoxxyHustle 7

Saturday 19 March 2011 1:30

hit her with a pillow!!! Don't stop 'til she brushes her damn teeth!!

dansco 24

Saturday 19 March 2011 1:58

Why is your life so bad? Millions of people are dying or in debt and you complain about this?! So she woke you up after a bad dream... And? It happens. So she won't brush her teeth... Make her or tell her no tv or pc til she does!