Miscellaneous: Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my...

By Anonymous - 21/12/2011 18:06 - United States

Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 216

You deserved it 2 615

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Same thing different taste

Alas, poor Tiddles

By SonOfACatKiller - 19/09/2019 08:00 - United States - Juno

Today, my mom asked me to pull out the load of laundry she'd stuck in the dryer. Instead of clothes, I pulled out my dead cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 613

You deserved it 132

Panic in the sheets

By Anonymous - 02/09/2018 03:30

Today, I woke up to my disabled mother screaming for me. Fearing the worst, I hopped out of bed only to find that she was yelling because her cat had brought a field mouse inside as a gift. The problem? It was still alive. I had to get it from him and throw it outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 570

You deserved it 250

By MereLewis95 - 26/10/2011 08:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 457

You deserved it 4 533

By loveurlifejk - 28/12/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 615

You deserved it 2 131

Drunk mom

By trailertrashyanditsucks - 26/07/2013 19:55 - United States - Porter

Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 047

You deserved it 3 817

Freaked out

By Anonymous - 15/08/2010 05:24 - United States

Today, my mom called me to the laundry room after she saw a dead animal in there. I took a look and agreed we should call animal control. After ten minutes of freaking out, they finally arrived to confirm that the dead animal was the hood to my winter jacket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 230

You deserved it 42 232

Rescue cat

By crazycatlady - 04/02/2017 20:00 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 429

You deserved it 838

By Anonymous - 15/02/2015 17:57 - Denmark

Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 418

You deserved it 3 275

Freakout

By Anonymous - 09/05/2014 22:03 - South Africa

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 334

You deserved it 4 322

It's just windy

By m…… - 05/08/2012 00:44 - United States - South Whitley

Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 271

You deserved it 2 016

lolasains 7

Thursday 22 December 2011 0:16

Smart mom you got there.

Sinamoi 18

Thursday 22 December 2011 0:19

Poor squirrel...

Comments

2009GSXR600 0

Thursday 22 December 2011 2:13

A bb gun would have been the best way

skyeyez9 24

Thursday 22 December 2011 2:18

What happened to it after the unsuccessful attempt to drown it?

keepingitnasty 15

Thursday 22 December 2011 2:19

Your mom is nuts.

GetHardOrGoHome 7

Thursday 22 December 2011 7:53

Agreed

skyeyez9 24

Thursday 22 December 2011 2:22

I drowned when I was 4. I am 33 and still remember it vividly. My.brother shoved me off of our inflatable raft and I couldnt swim. I held my breath till it felt like my lungs hurt so bad, and I automatically breathed in the ocean water. Oddly, breathing in the water didn't hurt. I soon blacked out and woke up on the beach to my mom slapping my face and a crowd surrounding me.

Shelta957 13

Thursday 22 December 2011 4:15

Cool story bro

BeautyMonster 17

Thursday 22 December 2011 19:13

You drowned? I didn't know you could get FML in Heaven.

bubo_fml 10

Thursday 22 December 2011 2:27

**** the clothes...I'd be more concerned about the Mum's homicidal tendencies!

CallMeMcFeelii 13

Thursday 22 December 2011 2:31

That's straight up insane. Who drowns a squirrel? And at that in their own poo machine? At least go to the neighbors if you're planning on aggressively kill a squirrel.