Intimacy: Today, I was working at the gas station. An old lady was watching...

By Fattie - 09/07/2009 17:50 - Malaysia

Today, I was working at the gas station. An old lady was watching me fill her gas tank. A really beautiful girl walked by. I lost concentration and overfilled the tank. I quickly pulled it out and squirted the old lady with a bit of petrol. She was smiling and gave a slight moan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 279

You deserved it 14 302

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 04:34 - United States

Today, I was at the gas station pumping gas when the lady in front of me had a little boy who asked if he could pump the gas. She said yes and then quickly answered her phone, as it was ringing. She wasn't watching him and he pulled out the pump to early, spraying gas all over me, including my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 642

You deserved it 3 022

You dipstick!

By mah - 16/01/2010 02:25 - United States

Today, while getting gas, a hottie pulled-up to the pump next to me. I finished filling my tank and started to drive away. As I was checking her out and paying no attention to my driving, I ended up taking the front bumper off her car with my truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 057

You deserved it 40 465

Another fine mess

By MikeMoosey - 30/12/2008 18:00 - United States

Today, while pumping gas, I stopped to think about what a failure my life is, and how badly I've treated people in my past. While deep in thought, I accidentally pulled the gas pump out too far and covered myself with gasoline. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 548

You deserved it 25 444

OK Shaggy

By Anonymous - 26/03/2021 03:01 - United States - Randolph

Today, I was pumping gas at a gas station. An attractive woman walked by and the guy pumping gas behind me did a whistle/catcall to her. She then looked at me and gave me a disgusted look. I didn't even try to hit on a girl, and still got rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 116

By AbsentMindedGal - 21/12/2013 09:07 - United States

Today, I stopped at the gas station to fill up my tank and get some snacks. I paid the cashier, then got back into my car, totally forgetting to pump the $50 worth of fuel I'd just prepaid for. Too bad I didn't realize until my car came to a sputtering stop about a mile down the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 802

You deserved it 22 646

Whoomp whoomp

By Anonymous - 01/04/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, I stopped by the gas station. As I was filling up I noticed a cute guy at the pump next to me. When I was done, I gave him a wink before opening my car door. It was locked. I had to call my Dad to bring my spare keys. The guy was laughing the whole time as I waited for my Dad to show up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 698

You deserved it 54 484

By crazytortise - 06/10/2016 02:40 - United States

Today, I was syphoning some gas from my truck to my friend's car just enough to get to the gas station. I told my friend to let me know when the gas was coming; he said, "Alright." Suddenly, I got a mouth full of gas because he was on his phone taking a video of me. He got the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 616

You deserved it 1 673

By fuckingjesusgran - 07/05/2013 22:13 - Bosnia and Herzegovina - Sarajevo

Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 193

You deserved it 3 563

By Boltz719 - 23/08/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 565

You deserved it 3 876

By GodMemory_AbsentMind - 21/03/2017 18:00

Today, when paying for gas, I realized I'd forgotten my wallet back home. After a moment of panic, I managed to remember my card number. I paid, blowing the cute cashier's mind, and drove away, before my car started sputtering and slowed to a crawl. I'd used the wrong fuel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 567

You deserved it 5 087

deja54 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 23:45

" I quickly pulled it out and squirted the old lady..." Oh I bet you did.

epicfail13337 4

Thursday 9 July 2009 23:37

HAHAHAHAHAHA She wishes that petrol was your...you know.

Comments

Scotticus117 11

Saturday 11 July 2009 0:47

how the hell are you first but #18 at the same time? and this has to be the funniest and most sexuall suggestive fml i have ever read, are you sure it was gas that you squirted her with? lol jk. it isn't really a f my life kinda moment though, it only got through moderation because it's so funny.

AliciaS_fml 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 1:31

this is lame and fake no doubt. pumps shut off automatically nowadays when your gas tank is full to avoid 'overfilling.' i think you made this up.

p00p0ster0us 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 5:24

You made this up. Even if the nozzle was broken and thus allowed the tank to overfill, you wouldn't keep gripping it as you pulled it out. Fake FML? Jeepers that's lame. Your life really IS f***ed.

looking_glass 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 9:52

you wouldn't keep gripping it as you pulled it out. : thats what she said. SORRY! I HAD TO TAKE IT! Lol

threefourteen 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 16:41

what's with all the horny old lady FMLs lately? & if this is fake... why do you fantasize about squirting old women?

Sturmeh 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 19:40

BAD PUN!

stray94 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 21:51

old people creep me out at work too! lmao... *shutters* i like to think that old people don't do shit like that

redheadfreak929 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 7:55

I know everyone has talked about the auto-shut off pump. I just have to say gas pumps have a obtuse angle to the nosel so you can be holding the handle while it is pumping gas into the car, which means when he pulled out the gas pump he would have been holding it in a very strange angle to hit the old lady unless she is like 2 inches away from u man because they r not high pressured. P.S. i know u could say a lot of sexual things about what i said lol.