Intimacy: Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards,... - FML

By Anonymous - 11/12/2011 11:54 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 282

You deserved it 8 649

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Same thing different taste

By JoshuasGirl - 23/12/2013 19:13 - United States - Grand Rapids

Spicy

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 098

You deserved it 6 453

It's sus

By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 09:01 - New Zealand

Spicy

Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 140

You deserved it 10 355

Heartless swine

By Anonymous - 15/09/2015 05:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 023

You deserved it 4 391

Fond memories

By -_- - 13/08/2011 00:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 837

You deserved it 4 637

By Darcy - 26/10/2011 06:58 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 570

You deserved it 4 582

By disapointed girl - 28/12/2009 16:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 008

You deserved it 5 892

By anonymous - 01/02/2009 10:53 - United States

Spicy

Today, I slept with this new guy for the first time. After sex, he said the doggie style position was fun, it made him wonder what it would be like to rape a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 205

You deserved it 6 326

The Great Pretender

By CJune24 - 22/10/2014 21:24 - United Kingdom - Huddersfield

Spicy

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 539

You deserved it 5 452

No gods, no masters

By anon - 31/07/2015 20:28 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 368

You deserved it 34 708

Nomnom

By wow babe - 19/11/2012 17:46 - United States - Arnold

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 092

You deserved it 5 623

Next

Top comments

nixter5 18

Sunday 11 December 2011 19:09

Please don't tell me you used teeth.

clownphobia23 12

Sunday 11 December 2011 19:10

...What the heck?

Comments

Arxikist 3

Sunday 11 December 2011 19:32

Maybe he saw your tranny dick and that threw him.

YayFlameWarz 9

Sunday 11 December 2011 19:36

PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN'T BUTE DOWN!

YayFlameWarz 9

Sunday 11 December 2011 20:08

bite* now that ive publically humiliated myself; Testicles, that is all.

PoisonGirlInc 0

Sunday 11 December 2011 19:36

Was it really that bad?!?!

troublegum 21

Sunday 11 December 2011 19:43

irony - saying your life sucks as that seems to be the route of the timing of your problem.

DeathBunny218 37

Sunday 11 December 2011 22:23

i'm surprised more people haven't said this, it's the first thing i thought of xD

fartgun 3

Sunday 11 December 2011 19:46

RAPE IS SO FUNNY

1bluesky1 6

Sunday 11 December 2011 19:46

You've got a real man there OP..

BigSlingin 0

Sunday 11 December 2011 19:49

WTF

roseXthorns 8

Sunday 11 December 2011 19:53

Did the word 'no' come up at any time?

CorpLaw77 3

Sunday 11 December 2011 20:03

Maybe it wasn't that she used teeth... might she possibly have braces? Ouch

mikeymayhem_87 15

Sunday 11 December 2011 20:05

Poor guy. I hope she didn't bite off more than she could chew!

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Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight

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I agree, your life sucks 44 512

You deserved it 11 867