Love: Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert,...

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 23:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert, my date told a joke, and I tittered vigorously, causing me to choke and throw up all over him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 120

You deserved it 6 355

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By Kristie - 03/07/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 169

Nerves, dear?

By First date - 30/03/2021 02:00

Today, on my first date with a guy I really like, I threw up not once, not twice, but three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 150

Klutz

By Sara - 27/05/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 146

By Anonymous - 27/09/2010 11:45 - United States

Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said, "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 619

You deserved it 30 231

Dating is hell

By Anonymous - 24/03/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the girl I’ve been trying to date not only agreed to a date, she invited me back to her place because the date went so well. We were kissing so hard, I struggled to breathe, I coughed, gagged, then vomited my seafood dinner all over her yellow sofa. It all went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 205

Classy

By dontask - 01/10/2010 01:55 - United States

Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 851

You deserved it 4 428

Must've been a good joke

By HAIL SITHIS - 24/07/2015 18:54 - United States

Today, I was on a date, and I tried breaking the ice by telling him my best joke. He laughed hysterically for a good 10 seconds, started beating the table with his fist, then suddenly went deadpan and said, "No, seriously, you're a moron. Screw this date." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 195

You deserved it 3 270

No third base for you

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 268

By lapines01 - 12/08/2019 02:00

Today, I went on a date with this really cute guy. We were walking in a park and decided to go on the swings. As I was swinging super high up, I threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 479

You deserved it 335

Maturity level

By Clairebear - 07/05/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I went on a date with someone I'd met online. Everything was going surprisingly well, until I knocked over my drink, spilling it all over my date's lap. In a panic, I blurted out, "Dude, did you piss yourself?" Needless to say, there will be no second date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 788

fearfulsymmetry 1

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:19

I wasn't aware you could titter vigorously.....I've heard of people working out vigorously, and arguing vigorously, but tittering? How the **** do you manage to do that?

alwa7sh 2

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:14

that teaches you to not fake you titters

Comments

sofiaiswhoiam 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:28

^^^^ nvm, true #18

conehead45 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:29

I guess that's one way to get him out of his cloths. Two thumbs up for originality!

Arschloch04 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 21:17

Cloths? Is he a caveman? OP, did you go on a date with a caveman?

maybaybe 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:38

I just noticed, this FML doesn't have 'FML' at the end of it.

Sirin_fml 46

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:42

Why, I'm not sure what you mean.

ak7477 9

Saturday 8 January 2011 3:28

yea it does...

harrylovesmary 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:43

omg that's hilarious

GawZ 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 3:09

I'm sure he'll go on a second date with you so long as you let his mini-me puke all over your face.

mrahhhhh 21

Saturday 8 January 2011 3:11

Did you also tell him his mother sucks c(#ks in hell?

sallen0046 4

Saturday 8 January 2011 3:16

I'm not particularly bothered by bodily functions, but there is no way in hell I'd ever "understand" if I was on a first date with someone who vomited all over me because they weren't bright enough to turn their head. You pretty much deserve it for performing any kind of vigorous laugh with enough food in your mouth to choke on it.

RoseThorns 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 3:25

Don't worry! I puked all over a guy once, and now we're married! There is a light at the end of this embarassing tunnel (perhaps). No promises though...