By creepermagnet - 06/04/2009 19:39 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks 399 832
You deserved it 46 094

creepermagnet tells us more.

creepermagnet 0

Let me tell you the rest of the story: this actually happened a couple months ago, but I just discovered this site. First off, there was NO second date. My God. Right after he said that, I told him I wanted to go home (he had driven, and I didn't have a car or any way to get home). He then asked if I wanted to go to the woods so he could "do things to me." I told him no, going home would be fine. He took me home and I called him and told him I never wanted to see him again. For half an hour, he tried to convince me to see him again, but I eventually just hung up. For a month or so he called me every day but I didn't answer. Finally, I grew tired of this and I answered the phone. I told him he was really scaring me and he needed to stop trying to contact me. He told me, "I was falling in love with you but they all laughed at me!" (Mind you, I do not know who "they" are. Nor do I wish to know). I told him I was very sorry, but he had to stop calling me or I would contact the police. He then said to me, "Where is the darkness??? Why do you paint me as a demon when I just want to show you the light???" I haven't spoken to him since.

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Comments

*gags* oh, oh my god. get the hell away from that ******* creep. if he picked you up for the date or has any idea where you live, change the locks on your doors. #194, all FMLs start with 'today,' that doesn't necessarily mean they took place the same day they were posted. #203...stfu. >:|

Hgm09 0

He sounds pretty confident in the potency of his swimmers. He's a keeper, for sure. Ah, I just lol'd so hard.

I hope there was some more context to that. Otherwise it's pretty weird.

ilike269 0

honestly i would have what he said as a joke to friend who knows me well. but that OTHER stuff you said was sooo effin' creepy.

generalsmith2 0

your terrible experience has blessed me with the best laugh i've had in a long time :P

DelSDelT 0

It totally depends on how he said it. If he meant it as a joke, that's ******* hilarious. If he didn't, it's still hilarious, but not for you.

im definitely going to do this to a certain female fml-reading friend next time i see her. reactions shall be gauged.

I suggested finding a date that's not as creepy...