By creepermagnet - 06/04/2009 19:39 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks 399 832
You deserved it 46 094

creepermagnet tells us more.

creepermagnet 0

Let me tell you the rest of the story: this actually happened a couple months ago, but I just discovered this site. First off, there was NO second date. My God. Right after he said that, I told him I wanted to go home (he had driven, and I didn't have a car or any way to get home). He then asked if I wanted to go to the woods so he could "do things to me." I told him no, going home would be fine. He took me home and I called him and told him I never wanted to see him again. For half an hour, he tried to convince me to see him again, but I eventually just hung up. For a month or so he called me every day but I didn't answer. Finally, I grew tired of this and I answered the phone. I told him he was really scaring me and he needed to stop trying to contact me. He told me, "I was falling in love with you but they all laughed at me!" (Mind you, I do not know who "they" are. Nor do I wish to know). I told him I was very sorry, but he had to stop calling me or I would contact the police. He then said to me, "Where is the darkness??? Why do you paint me as a demon when I just want to show you the light???" I haven't spoken to him since.

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Top comments

Ender_ 0

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Best pickup line ever.

965 21

Comments

Dashiell 0

Chill out, he was probably kidding. Oh, and by the way, the next person to use the word "creeper" will be lynched, kthx

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esclave_fml 0

LMFAO at least you know he likes you :D

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wickedsick 0

HAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAAHAHHAAH OHHHHHmyfuckingggjesussss haahhaahhahaha

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kellster 2

... "plump with my seed"???????? PLUMP? How much seed did he have?! This is disturbing and weird. Even more so with the rest of the story. Way to get out of there! Although, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have gotten in the car with him!!!!!!

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PsychoX 0

OMG, This has got to be one of the best FMLs ever. And have the greatest number of comments. @269 look at the name of the OP. then you will understand the use of the word "creeper". Way to read the comments before posting. @272 plump as in plump with child. fruit of his seed. that whole deal. @OP might I suggest you find alternative methods of transportation if you must escape from similar situations in the future? Getting him to drive you home... you must have (metaphorical) balls of ****** steel. Or plutonium. Or something. Just, bad idea. People that I know that attract odd people tend to do it on a large scale. I also suggest investing in a machete. They are the cheapest weapon of mass slaughter ever produced. But I should SO use that line someday just to see reactions... that would be hilarious if it was intended as a joke. If only... lol. And welcome to FML, you just practically owned the whole website.

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bdogg 0

Maybe he was trying to be funny and you don't have a sense of humor. Context, context, context....

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Reasonable_man 0

Seriously, you should make a report with the police. From your story in #82,84 this is now a necessary precaution on your part. If he has actually stopped contacting you then the police wont take any action; however, if he does anything else having the previous report with the police will allow you to get a restraining order, significantly help your case when you file charges etc. Not legal advise, not a lawyer, etc.

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tangello 0

This reminds me of an ex of mine.. ew..

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