By creepermagnet - 06/04/2009 19:39 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks 399 834
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creepermagnet tells us more.

creepermagnet 0

Let me tell you the rest of the story: this actually happened a couple months ago, but I just discovered this site. First off, there was NO second date. My God. Right after he said that, I told him I wanted to go home (he had driven, and I didn't have a car or any way to get home). He then asked if I wanted to go to the woods so he could "do things to me." I told him no, going home would be fine. He took me home and I called him and told him I never wanted to see him again. For half an hour, he tried to convince me to see him again, but I eventually just hung up. For a month or so he called me every day but I didn't answer. Finally, I grew tired of this and I answered the phone. I told him he was really scaring me and he needed to stop trying to contact me. He told me, "I was falling in love with you but they all laughed at me!" (Mind you, I do not know who "they" are. Nor do I wish to know). I told him I was very sorry, but he had to stop calling me or I would contact the police. He then said to me, "Where is the darkness??? Why do you paint me as a demon when I just want to show you the light???" I haven't spoken to him since.

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Comments

abcdefgh_fml 0

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA wtf?! what a weirdo! haha plump with my seed HA

That is the creepiest thing ever. Seriously.

he really knows how to sweet talk the ladies

mini_munny 0

#315 - the guy wasn't joking... if you read her follow-up on the story on comment #82, you'll see just how creepy the guy is. OP: He drove you home?! You are brave. If that was me, I'd call a friend to pick me up and stay far away from my house as long as possible to hopefully guarantee he wasn't trailing me home.

nickk_v 0

omfg im scared for your life

You found a guy with a wacky sense of humour and wonderful diction (plump... seed... come on, it's the wording that makes this joke, isn't it?); where's the FML?

cheerloveexx3 0

hahahahaha that was hilarious :] but you gotta know it was a joke. c'mon, no one says 'plump' and 'seed'. lmao

That... is ******* hilarious. Hahahaha, awesome.