By creepermagnet - 06/04/2009 19:39 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks 399 834
You deserved it 46 094

creepermagnet tells us more.

creepermagnet 0

Let me tell you the rest of the story: this actually happened a couple months ago, but I just discovered this site. First off, there was NO second date. My God. Right after he said that, I told him I wanted to go home (he had driven, and I didn't have a car or any way to get home). He then asked if I wanted to go to the woods so he could "do things to me." I told him no, going home would be fine. He took me home and I called him and told him I never wanted to see him again. For half an hour, he tried to convince me to see him again, but I eventually just hung up. For a month or so he called me every day but I didn't answer. Finally, I grew tired of this and I answered the phone. I told him he was really scaring me and he needed to stop trying to contact me. He told me, "I was falling in love with you but they all laughed at me!" (Mind you, I do not know who "they" are. Nor do I wish to know). I told him I was very sorry, but he had to stop calling me or I would contact the police. He then said to me, "Where is the darkness??? Why do you paint me as a demon when I just want to show you the light???" I haven't spoken to him since.

Top comments

Comments

tokyooo123 0

AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. that's excellent.

mrnergles 0

#3 Agreed, That is so ******* Pro

linzey 0

this reminds of the fml where the girl screamed BE MY BABY DADDY! imagine having sex with him and then he shouts BE PLUMP WITH MY SEED! oh goodness you can't make this stuff up. make sure you make him wear a helmet so his soliders don't march!

dimond_2010 0

Yea im thinking he took the easy way out to make sure he never had to see you again.

LMFAO, #383.. the be my baby daddy one is my favorite FML ever. but.. bahahahahahahahahahah. dude, thats a straight up creeper. lmfao, thanks for making my day :D

dzidziaud 5

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL BEST FML EVER!!!

Just for those saying maybe he was joking and it's funny, and especially the person saying use a condom. Check out OP's detailed reply at #82. 100% freaky creepoid. No jokes about it.

koneko12984 0

i would guess he was just joking. this has got to be the funniest fmylife i have ever read.

OH lordy lordy. I did this to my sister today. She freaked out. It was hilarious... and I still laugh every time i think about this fml

mylife30 0

HAHAHHAHAHHAHA! funniest FML i've ever heard!