By Username - 16/04/2011 08:39 - United States

Today, I went on my first official date I've been on since my divorce. Things were going great until he ordered his fourth 32oz beer; he got hammered and became a horny octopus. Oh, and he farted whiled trying to give me a goodnight kiss. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 933
You deserved it 4 699
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Top comments

xx_Sarah_xxxxx 6

horny octopus, really?? well things can only get better.....

38 0

Comments

lmaoatall 6

thank god he didn't come at you like a sword fish. worse, moby- dick.

2 1
CryMoreFMLs 14

I dont want to see the mobydick (sp?) T---T Please god no!

0 1
khaya 9

Maybe with the fifth beer he would of followed through with a shit.

5 2
skyeyez9 24

followed by spending the night on her front porch.

4 0
shift_love 13

in some countries farting whilst kissing could be known as a delicacy reel him in lol

1 1
Snackbars 0

Well that's what you get when you're a stripper at the strip club in the underwater city of atlantis.

2 4
A7X_LoVeee 10

Was that supposed to be funny?

2 1
Snackbars 0

I just realised that made no sense. And I barely care, in all honesty I'm too hungover to be witty. So... screw you. Yeah.

1 5
A7X_LoVeee 10

Well if you barely cared then you wouldn't have replied. ^_^

5 0
AngryGuitarist 0

90 message me 

0 5
zeromarth 2

what kind of guys are you into hahah but i know what your goibg through

0 0
Monikabug 9

So what kind of guys are YOU into? ^

1 0
creedaddict 9

after all that u kissed that loser goodnight ewwwww

0 3
CharleneW 0

It says he was trying to kiss her.....

1 0
Wheredidgrungego 12

Yeah I bet that got you REAL excited for dating again.

0 1
mak2010 5

When a man turns into an octopus find an excuse and go. you deserve better.

0 2
MyScrewedUpLifeS 0

I like a de octopusssss

0 2