Health: Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday....

By bathroomseww - 12/05/2009 07:19 - United States

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 164

You deserved it 12 405

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 10:30 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 606

You deserved it 9 156

Help!

By Anonymous - 25/11/2012 06:56 - United States

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 409

You deserved it 8 097

By Anonymous - 19/12/2012 17:12 - United States

Today, I was waiting in line to use the bathroom. I complained to the guy next to me about how long the lady was taking. I kept making jokes about it, but he never seemed to laugh. Finally, the door opened and out came a lady in a wheelchair. The guy next to me was her husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 460

You deserved it 65 608

Little shit

By Anonymous - 31/12/2022 18:00 - United States - Fpo

Today, I took my brother to the bathroom at a restaurant. The stall next to mine was locked, so I assumed he was still in there. I yelled his name a few times, then banged on the door out of annoyance. I gave up and returned to the table, where he was sitting with a grin. Turns out I just traumatized a poor lady in the stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 391

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 114

Weirdo

By ReineXre - 15/06/2016 00:00

Today, I went to the bathroom in a mall. As I was in the stall, a woman tried to open it. I yelled out that's it was occupied but she kept shaking it to open it. It came up to the point where she had to crawl under the door to see that I was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 508

You deserved it 731

By Kasnt - 03/10/2010 18:50 - United States

Today, I really had to pee so I took the only stall that was available in the bathroom: the handicapped stall. A girl in a wheelchair came in seconds later and cursed at me for taking her designated spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 546

You deserved it 8 227

By paulinapo - 28/03/2013 13:52 - United States - Staten Island

Today, while in a public bathroom, I threw out my back. A stranger had to help me pull up my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 385

You deserved it 2 851

Mexican Standoff

By JillianJuneBug - 17/08/2019 18:00

Today, I had no choice but to use a public bathroom. I have issues going when there are others in the stalls, and apparently another person did as well. We both sat there in silence, waiting stubbornly for the other to give up and leave so we could go. It’s been 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 481

You deserved it 647

By pass_the_tp - 13/01/2010 02:57 - United States

Today, I was at the movie theatre. I went to the bathroom, and was about to wipe my butt when I realized that where the toilet-paper dispenser should have been, there was a large hole. The woman in the next stall waved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 331

You deserved it 5 529

klbrend 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 16:04

Oh god. That sucks. Kudos to you for being such a nice person though.

dudemitch 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 16:05

ew. you had a choice. the fact that you actually helped probably just guaranteed you a space in heaven. fyl, but your still the nicest person ever.

Comments

itscrazyoutthere 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 23:33

What a nice person :) haha kinda sucks though.

Weil 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 23:39

#147-What else but stuffing their fat face full of doritos and pork rinds?

surreal 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 23:39

ahahaha, that must've sucked so bad

NickelPhosphate 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 23:45

Well, at least you did the right thing and there was no one around to watch. I would have probably run out of the bathroom screaming, so kudos!

Anne_Onimus 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 23:47

Honestly... this is so ******* rude of you. Her "obese, old-lady ass"? If she knew you were going to be a judgemental jackass while she was OBVIOUSLY having a breakdown about it... I'm sure she would have rather waited for someone who wasn't an asshole to come around. I hope when you're old, you have an obese, old-lady ass too. Jerk.

deathproof_fml 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 23:48

You're a braver person than I am.

MissyxVampire 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 23:54

Wow, that was extremely nice of you.

SuperSpore 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 23:56

#2, FYI, you have to follow god's rules and due what he says, that includes repenting and getting baptized.

cia_rapp 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 23:56

Regarding the obese, old-lady ass? Did you seriously have to pull them all the way up? I'm guessing once they were above her knees she was able to finish the deed herself. So, assuming she wasn't wearing a belly shirt, her shirt tail probably covered her, and if you turned your head (respectfully), you didn't even have to see much. The more I think about this, the more I think you only posted it to pat your own damned back. Gee, I hope you don't sprain your own elbow in the process. Get over it!