Love: Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to...

By H-B - 28/04/2009 08:53 - United States

Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 603

You deserved it 88 957

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Tasty

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 20:00

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 297

Waste moment

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 20:00

Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We decided then to come home and planned an intimate moment. I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I fell asleep right before we started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 1 349

By Ryan746 - 09/06/2009 05:45 - United States

Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 682

You deserved it 47 020

Joe Smooth move

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 518

You deserved it 38 444

By Anon - 30/01/2009 11:39 - Canada

Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 342

You deserved it 7 441

By Pelota - 01/07/2009 21:46 - United States

Today, I tried to stop a drunk girl from driving home. She took a couple swings at me, which I dodged. Feeling pretty good about it, I tried to get the keys from her hand. She leaned over, and sunk her teeth in to my bare shoulder. The doctor says I will have a scar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 486

You deserved it 5 231

Romantic move

By soomeone - 16/02/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 681

You deserved it 25 654

By OMFG I LOVE MLP - 24/08/2012 21:00 - Germany - Mainz

Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 943

You deserved it 3 794

By Chedder - 26/06/2009 23:36 - United States

Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, but she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 008

You deserved it 3 506

By PleaseDontHateMe - 20/09/2016 16:42 - Canada - Stony Plain

Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 303

You deserved it 5 016

lelo_lala 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:05

You deserve it, you drove drunk, and put a girl in a neck brace, I hope you never get laid.

eric237 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:05

this fml makes you sound like a rapist

Comments

laestrellita 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:26

People, read the FML. Nowhere in it does it say "I drove her home".

cynthiaF 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 6:50

YOU should read the FML. it says " BEFORE SHE GOT OUT OF THE CAR" ... "STILL DRUNK."

SayPeanuts 29

Monday 14 January 2013 0:13

Could have been the back of a taxi.

AnneFTW 17

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:31

Wow why'd you get so drunk on date if you wanted to impress her..? & why were you driving if you were so drunk that you couldn't even kiss her?

amandapanda1001 0

Monday 28 February 2011 0:13

I'm assuming he's a virgin and he had to get drunk for the attempt

yesmy_love 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:31

nah dude. i feel for you! hopefully once her neck heals you can try again. and definitely remind her that she's still beautiful even with a neck brace! drunk accidents happen.... hopefully she can laugh it off... if i liked the dude enough i'd be able to laugh it off. GOODLUCK KILLAAAAH!

adam10_fml 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:34

Drunk driving, always cool

yesmy_love 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:37

OH and PS. whoever said you can't love someone unless you're with them.... you're a f*cking idiot.. just stop talking now.... and also, the OP never said he was the one driving. they could have been in a cab... or a sober friend could have been driving. way to jump to conclusions people.

boone_fml 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:39

maybe if you really really REALLY loved her, you wouldn't have hurt her neck.

satanicminnow1 1

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:39

#25, STFU and GTFO. #6, amen brother!

dearViena 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:40

next date: murder.

Jaywin 3

Tuesday 28 April 2009 20:42

#25 You obviously don't understand love or you have a very lax definition of it. You can't truly love someone you're not with. No one can look at someone they have a crush on and honestly be able to say "Wow I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with them." If you believe that you're a naive little person who will have their world crushed sooner or later by throwing out the word "love" too much. Edit: I mean ROMANTIC love by the way. Not friendship love or family love.