Kids: Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year old son answered...

By notyouagain - 03/10/2010 07:40 - Australia

Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year old son answered the door and when he saw me said, 'oh great, it's YOU' and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 590

You deserved it 4 947

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By mimo - 14/11/2008 04:16 - France

Today, I ate at a friend's house. Her 5-year-old son, who was at the table with us, looked at me and said quietly, "You're ugly." My friend told him off, causing him to cry, and shout, "But she isn't pretty!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 484

You deserved it 5 002

By Anonymous - 04/04/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was hanging out at a friend's house. Her adorable 5 year-old sister came up, gave me a hug, and said, "You're fat. When are you going home?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 880

You deserved it 6 073

The nickname that sticks

By boobswerehere - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Reno

Today, I went to visit my best friend at her house. I saw her five year-old brother playing in the front yard, and as I walked up to the door he shouted, "Boobs are here! Boobs are here!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 973

You deserved it 1 570

By unwanted - 26/11/2014 18:13 - Canada - Dollard-des-ormeaux

Today, I drove over an hour to my grandma's house for her birthday party. When she answered the door, her eyes went wide and she said angrily "No, not you!" and slammed the door shut in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 625

You deserved it 2 936

By -1 friend - 17/05/2013 21:16 - United States - Freeport

Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 330

You deserved it 14 668

By Anon - 12/01/2012 19:24 - United States

Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 474

You deserved it 5 357

By Anonymous - 01/11/2014 18:23 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 857

You deserved it 5 521

By Anonymous - 25/06/2009 02:06 - Canada

Today, I was visiting my friend's new house and he was showing me around. I saw a small door in the wall and decided to open it. When I opened it, his daughter was hiding in there and screamed to scare me. Now I know my scream is more high pitched than his daughter's. I'm a 37 year old male. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 752

You deserved it 7 383

By anonymous - 20/09/2016 22:49 - United States - Avon

Today, I tried to jokingly hold the door shut so my friend, who I'd seen walking down the hall to our class, couldn't get in. It was funny, until my new teacher yelled "Open the damn door!" from the other side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 378

You deserved it 12 305

By downlowtooslow - 12/06/2009 04:49 - United States

Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 655

You deserved it 6 873

failblorg 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 16:09

lmaoo you must be extremely annoying

DocBastard 38

Sunday 3 October 2010 16:12

So spank him. Done.

Comments

Alexisfbaby6 0

Monday 4 October 2010 0:18

Wow

Allymeme 3

Monday 4 October 2010 1:10

You obviously deserved it. Little kids can tell when someone is a bad person, so yea. Quick being a bitch.

flossybaben 0

Monday 4 October 2010 1:25

rofl that's funny sh#t u must be annoying

foxy1222 0

Monday 4 October 2010 1:40

he must like you:)

keenaco02 0

Monday 4 October 2010 3:17

it happens his mom should spank him

glambert1998 0

Monday 4 October 2010 5:38

u got pwned by a little boy what does that make u? a wussy

Pro_Nothing 9

Monday 4 October 2010 10:55

Lmao!! I can imagine a little kid saying that. When I get the door slammed into my face I would be laughing my ass off at what the kid said

iiiLoveeeYouuu 0

Monday 4 October 2010 13:33

owned. nuff nuff.

_yumadtho 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 2:43

how cute! lol

brice_garrett 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 5:05

slap the little son of a bitch right upside the head!

Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Capitalism Work Bosses You're fired Cars Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 536

You deserved it 65 008

Today, it is mine and my twin sister's birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me also pretty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 781

You deserved it 5 987

The Top

Today, I'm horny all the time, but my endurance in the sack is horrible. Why me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 379

You deserved it 440

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 697

You deserved it 57 622

Today, I kicked my coffee table while barefoot, got an X-ray, and I’d cracked the bone. Got home, kicked the exact same table with the exact same toe, got another X-ray, the crack is now a full-on break. What a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 945

Today, my friend's son asked me how much coke costs in this place. I told him, "About a dollar?" He said, "Wow, that's really cheap for blow." He's 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 484

You deserved it 3 057

Today, it's been three days since I started working 12-hour night shifts. My neighbors have now decided to renovate their house. They're focusing on the rooms sharing my wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 356

You deserved it 2 339

Today, after searching for a job for over a year now, I finally got an interview. The pressure made me so nervous that I passed out in the middle of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 335

You deserved it 5 695

Same thing different taste

The nickname that sticks

Top comments

Comments