Health: Today, I went running. I live in a small town and people know...

By Anonymous - 12/03/2015 01:50 - United States - Guthrie

Today, I went running. I live in a small town and people know me fairly well. It was dark when I went to avoid the heat. I was almost finished with my run when the cop comes up and asks me what I'm running from. Clearly being fat and out of shape is not a good enough alibi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 329

You deserved it 2 588

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 07:14 - Australia

Today, I finally went running to help me start losing weight. I got 50 metres before someone in a passing car shouted out "Run fatty, run". I can't work up the courage to go for a run again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 086

You deserved it 7 403

By Anonymous - 16/02/2012 03:59 - United States

Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 295

You deserved it 2 904

By FatRunner - 05/11/2009 07:41 - New Zealand

Today, while going for my daily run, a woman stopped me and said, "I think it's so great that people of your size are comfortable enough to run and show their bodies in public." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 955

You deserved it 5 272

By Anonymous - 16/09/2014 14:34 - United States - Wallingford

Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 073

You deserved it 3 223

By anonymous - 24/06/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I went running. My girlfriend was so surprised at the fact that I'm exercising that she accused me of making it up so I could cheat on her. I'm just trying to get in shape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 705

You deserved it 5 226

By see you next cunt - 18/03/2014 19:44 - United States

Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 957

You deserved it 5 133

By MillyMan - 07/02/2012 17:58 - United States

Today, I have to follow through with the bet I lost over the Super Bowl game. I don't have a problem running a lap nude around my block, but the cops in the police station right across from my house probably will. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 931

You deserved it 35 449

By yodada - 10/03/2009 23:03 - United States

Today, I was pulled over because I looked like a possible suspect for a robbery. While searching me, the police's radio went off and the person on the other line said, "Possible suspect, 5'5", thin" - the officer stopped right then and murmured, "too short and fat" and walked back to his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 526

You deserved it 4 860

By Jif_Creamy - 28/02/2016 05:00 - United States - Washington

Today, at my college, someone snatched my laptop out of my hands, so I chased him. Turns out I'm so overweight and slow that he moonwalked away facing me, while I sprinted my heart out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 898

You deserved it 7 172

Out of shape

By Anonymous - 05/09/2011 04:38 - Canada

Today, I decided to work out. Being too embarrassed to run in public, I instead ran in circles in my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 723

You deserved it 15 183

bearstyle22 11

Thursday 12 March 2015 11:23

You dare live a healthy lifestyle in my town. Thats it, ticket.

Steffi3 40

Thursday 12 March 2015 11:17

I hope he didn't give you too much trouble. Keep up the running OP!

Comments

kdq2 5

Thursday 12 March 2015 15:45

You're too black bro

Johnnycake23 42

Thursday 12 March 2015 16:17

Lol Running while black is a very serious crime!

Rosebudx 32

Thursday 12 March 2015 16:40

My football player/wrestler brother used to dress in a black hoodie and sweats and go running sometime between midnight and 2 a.m. He got the cops called on him several times, but luckily the responding officers all knew him.