Animals: Today, I went to a fancy beauty parlor to prepare for my sister's...

By poophead - 30/05/2015 02:39 - Philippines

Today, I went to a fancy beauty parlor to prepare for my sister's birthday party. The minute I stepped out of the salon, with my hair beautifully trimmed and curled, a bird decided to use it as a toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 767

You deserved it 2 565

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Same thing different taste

By birdmagnet - 25/04/2009 19:12 - United States

Today, I spent 90 dollars and two and a half hours getting my hair done at a fancy salon. As I was unlocking my car, a bird pooped in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 180

You deserved it 12 625

By Anonymous - 23/09/2012 11:11 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my sister stopped by to visit me with her pet bird in tow. She asked me to hold the animal while she went to the toilet, and put it on my shoulder. It promptly shat on my only clean shirt and tore away a good deal of skin from my hand when I tried to get it off me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 363

You deserved it 2 575

By lily_marleen - 17/05/2015 21:27 - Germany - Emskirchen

Today, I had an outdoor meeting with some important clients. It wasn't until the meeting was over that my coworker decided to inform me that I had bird poop in my hair "pretty much the entire time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 996

You deserved it 2 126

I am very hungry

By I'mSoHungry - 11/01/2020 08:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, a bird flew into the workshop where I work, gave itself a tour of the place, then promptly pooped on my lunch and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 332

You deserved it 197

By Keaton - 15/06/2010 16:58 - United States

Today, I got a bird as a pet. I thought it would be funny to put it on my head and take a picture. When the flash went off the bird flew off my head and pooped at the same time. You could see it in the picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 360

You deserved it 44 986

Halved

By Anonymous - 04/09/2019 14:00

Today, I went to the hair salon to get a fresh trim before receiving my master's diploma. The hairdresser managed to shave off half my eyebrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 633

You deserved it 119

Polly Want a Wax

By Baldy - 07/09/2017 13:00

Today, I was using pre-waxed strips to wax my eyebrows when my parrot investigated by walking through them. He then screamed, flew into my hair, thrashed around, and got stuck. I now have two bald spots and two parrot bites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 697

You deserved it 656

By Rye - 19/02/2009 03:51 - United States

Today, I let my friend cut my hair and after a few minutes, she looked at what she had done and then she ran out of the room, laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 830

You deserved it 17 171

**** my shit up

By Anonymous - 11/03/2023 16:00 - Canada

Today, I tried to use a fancy new hairstyling tool and ended up getting my hair tangled in it. I had to cut a chunk of my hair off to free myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 239

Eyepatch nightmare

By 1eyedpirate - 08/10/2023 00:02

Today, after years of my husband offering to trim my bangs, I finally let him. On the first snip he managed to cut the skin beneath my eyebrow. Ten minutes before that, our newborn shat all over me, even getting it in my hair. To make me feel better, since we have a parrot, my husband said that I could finally fulfill my dreams of being a pirate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 161

hippodankamus 22

Saturday 30 May 2015 19:47

*incoming puns related to shit and poop*

gm1beanzz 14

Saturday 30 May 2015 19:47

Birds are assholes.

Comments

Twigman55 7

Saturday 30 May 2015 19:46

Guess your in deep shit?

DFMLharsh 20

Saturday 30 May 2015 19:59

Oh please, its *you're. Its alright to not be sound with grammar but just make sure you don't make a blunder as a first comment. Rest, I am sorry if this was offensive. (fml has warned me already for being a Grammar Nazi)

assassinbanana0 20

Tuesday 2 June 2015 3:22

Wish people would learn by now the "shitty puns" really aren't that funny

itssnotfunny 24

Saturday 30 May 2015 19:46

Well that's a shitty start.

gm1beanzz 14

Saturday 30 May 2015 19:47

Birds are assholes.

False_Stupidity 41

Sunday 31 May 2015 0:25

And this bird's arsehole is literally the problem here.

rabid_otaku 29

Sunday 31 May 2015 6:22

Birds actually lack anal sphincters.

Brandi_Faith 33

Sunday 31 May 2015 6:26

Well that explains a lot 43! It's just pouring out and they can't stop it. Yuck.

tormcn 26

Saturday 30 May 2015 19:47

I hope you didn't ruin your hair to get it out. Yikes!

flopstar 21

Saturday 30 May 2015 21:55

I don't understand how this got down voted, I do hope it didn't mess her hair up.

MortenM 17

Sunday 31 May 2015 2:54

It don't really matter. Great time to test customer service. If they don't offer to fix it, don't come back

Brandi_Faith 33

Sunday 31 May 2015 6:28

I think it probably got down voted because people think there's no way it didn't get ruined. I mean in order to get the poop out she would've had to wash it, thus destroying the whole style. :( I would've walked right back in and see if they could help wash and fix it. Hopefully they'd give a discount, but if not, it's probably worth paying to get it out right away and still get a nice style