Miscellaneous: Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there,...

By Anonymous - 26/07/2009 17:00 - France

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 754

You deserved it 58 953

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Same thing different taste

By JJMan217 - 03/04/2011 07:02 - Canada

Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 388

You deserved it 58 933

Jinxed

By Anonymous - 17/01/2022 17:02

Today, my phone made a random noise. I jokingly said, "Wow, I wonder who died now?" Turns out it was my son's grandmother. I had to explain it because I screamed. I also got to tell his dad that his mom just died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 294

By Anonymous - 30/08/2016 15:01

Today, at the funeral home where I work, I asked my boss if it was time to "bring out the stiff". I didn't realize the guy's family was not only in the building, but within earshot as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 842

You deserved it 20 406

By Anonymous - 14/06/2013 16:24 - Cyprus - Limassol

Today, I attended my mother's funeral. My husband came too, and during the service, I kept hearing him giggling. I wrote it off as the usual awkward nerves, until he started snorting too, and I caught sight of the iPhone under his jacket. He was reading this very site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 605

You deserved it 4 592

Not on the weekend

By jtaylor94 - 21/07/2009 21:54 - Canada

Today, my dad's boss called our house and I answered. He said, "Is your dad home?" I replied, "I'll go check." I put the phone on mute and asked my dad if he wanted to talk to his boss. My dad says, "Does that asshole not have a life?" Turns out the phone wasn't on mute, it was on speaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 357

You deserved it 42 743

Busted

By Anonymous - 05/06/2012 18:47 - Brazil - Americana

Today, I was at work, reading some funny stories on my phone. Just as one of my co-workers decided to share that his father had passed away recently, I burst into uncontrollable, teary-eyed laughter at a story. They don't believe my explanation, and have branded me the office asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 926

You deserved it 9 162

You never know

By lolwut - 11/09/2014 06:33 - United States - Albany

Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be ok if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 644

You deserved it 18 481

By Anonymous - 20/10/2010 22:22 - United States

Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 350

You deserved it 3 324

Memory man

By Dad Fail - 07/02/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my dad let me use his phone. Five minutes later, he had my mom call it because he thought he'd lost it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 701

You deserved it 123

Bigmouth strikes again

By Anonymous - 25/05/2022 10:00 - United States - East Islip

Today, a relative showed me a picture of her phone. I also saw a picture of her husband, a friend, sleeping. He looked like he was dead to the world. I asked, jokingly, "Why is there a picture of a dead guy on your phone?" Turns out it was her father, who is in the hospital, and dying any day now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 815

Dashiell 0

Sunday 26 July 2009 20:13

Haha, why were your brother and father at your coworker's father's funeral?

jaxsk 0

Sunday 26 July 2009 20:13

Great pun! I approve!

Comments

GrammarFailure 0

Tuesday 18 May 2010 19:27

Your brother is ******* genius.

briiana012 3

Monday 24 May 2010 15:00

ohhh embarrassing!! haha ur bro told a funny joke

Disturbedfan187 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 9:49

YDI having a dad.

cherry4196 0

Monday 2 August 2010 2:12

i always laugh at funerals.

daniella4680 0

Saturday 18 September 2010 14:28

ba boom chang!! pun approved

DABEARSS34 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 2:24

It's the guy's fault for telling such a hilarious joke at a funeral.

corbie23 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 7:29

hehe

cclincecum 4

Sunday 14 August 2011 0:14

That's not as bad as at my uncle's funeral dinner, everybody was quiet and my grandma shouted "You all act like somebody died!"

ChewUpOnMyBubble 7

Friday 27 April 2012 1:35

Well thats not as worst as when my Moms cell went off and her ring tone is 'i will survive'

safaeita 32

Saturday 14 December 2013 22:44

At funerals , classes, interviews, and important meetings ...etc everything is 100 times funnier !!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my husband returned from a 6-week business trip. During that time, I put myself on a very strict diet/exercise regimen so I could surprise him with a hefty weight loss. He took one look at me and demanded to know who I was fucking on the side. Yeah, because that’s the only reason I lost weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 140

You deserved it 227

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said, "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him every day now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 531

You deserved it 32 700

The Top

Today, my mother-in-law, who lives with us rent-free, still daily tries to get my wife to divorce me and marry a decent Catholic boy who is actually Irish, unlike me who was born in France, even though we’ve been married 23 years and have three kids together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 265

You deserved it 110

Today, I went to the gas station, paid the clerk, and drove off without pumping any gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 164

You deserved it 39 031

Today, I just got home from hospital after delivering an order of razor wire. One of the razors split my trousers and my sack open, my bollock was visibly hanging out of the giant slit in my sack and I had to go get it stitched shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 990

You deserved it 112

Today, I rode my motorcycle to an appointment and parked in the parking garage. When I got out, some ass had pushed my bike from the spot and had boxed it in between the wall and his car. Apparently, he felt he deserved the spot more than me and didn't care if I wanted to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 513

You deserved it 3 906

Today, my parents came to visit me at the ranch I work at. They're scared to death of horses, but I was explaining how they are almost completely harmless. I was showing them how to work around the horse without getting kicked. As they relaxed, the horse kicked me. I now have a broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 866

You deserved it 9 247

Today, after breaking up with my boyfriend, some of my friends decided to take me to a comedy club for a girls night. My friend's jealous husband decided he had to come along, then decided to invite my other friends' boyfriends. I ended up being the seventh wheel on a night meant to cheer me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 35