Miscellaneous: Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy,...

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 08:07 - United States

Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 054

You deserved it 7 199

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Same thing different taste

By Embarrassed - 01/10/2010 13:06 - United States

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 495

You deserved it 6 098

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 16:22 - United States - Union

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 365

You deserved it 8 112

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 05:01 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I farted at a crowded concert, and people started commenting on said fart. I specifically went out of my way to eat certain foods all day so that it wouldn't happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 305

You deserved it 2 799

Both ends

By Anon - 19/06/2024 12:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 133

One way or another

By embarrassed - 08/10/2012 09:12 - Australia - Morphett Vale

Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 002

You deserved it 6 138

By oops - 18/05/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 501

You deserved it 10 829

Classic backfire

By Anonymous - 02/09/2023 04:00

Today, I was in a quiet library, trying to stifle a sneeze. In the process, I let out an embarrassingly loud and dramatic snort that echoed through the room. Heads turned. Many stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 168

Ight imma head out

By Anonymous - 10/10/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I was nervously observing a delicate medical procedure while training at my new job. I tried to stifle a sneeze and instead (as you can probably guess) ripped the biggest, most cartoonishly loud fart of my life. My ass sounded like a tuba and I was asked to leave the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 138

Check her out

By minnie - 28/08/2009 18:30 - United States

Today, I was feeling sick and I farted really loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 803

You deserved it 6 905

Panic!

By Anonymous - 31/12/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, I fucked up by trusting the wrong fart and shat myself in the middle of the restaurant I was eating lunch at. I was so mortified, I couldn't even finish the meal I paid for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 481

skull4k9 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 16:28

AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!!!!!!!!

ysomad 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 16:28

it's okay to feel sad sometimes! (mr. Rogers)

Comments

stephaniegeezy 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 20:10

WHO SNARTED?!

ifyouwereasheep 0

Monday 29 November 2010 8:53

just hang yourself ****

Shinygirlnz 1

Sunday 28 November 2010 20:57

Think there'll be a second date?

jakeisawake 3

Sunday 28 November 2010 21:06

I don't think OP was on his first date...His crush just happened to be at the crowded restaurant near his table.

Wizardroxx 3

Sunday 28 November 2010 21:11

This ^

Wizardroxx 3

Sunday 28 November 2010 21:16

What was your crush doing at the same restaurant as you; at the same time of day. That barely happens here, unless it's a party or something.

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Sunday 28 November 2010 21:36

I just have to say, good on ya for masturdating. More people should discover the joys of going out alone. I'm pretty proud of the FMLers too. 65 comments, and no one has gone the exaggeration route with accusations of "stalking" and/or "creeping" said crush. We just might be evolving after all!

jakeisawake 3

Sunday 28 November 2010 21:39

Ehh, I'm glad I finished reading through the new comments... I was just about to make a "stalking" comment. Haha

I_Love_FML12345 3

Sunday 28 November 2010 21:54

so....u snarted?

thatsrugged 2

Sunday 28 November 2010 22:34

# 68 wins... lol id say it depends on the quality of resturant your in? if i was there i would have given you a high 5 !! irshjanedoe i can honestly say i hate you

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Monday 29 November 2010 4:07

Ooh, I'm crushed.

Tweetyy_fml 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 22:40

Loooserr! why do you go eat alone damnnn you must be shyy. Your "crush" isn't evvverrrr gunna notice you if you keep being so shyy&weirddd. Put out some moree((;

nerdsgetmehot 22

Monday 29 November 2010 0:30

#70 Yes, the I believe the OP actually did state that they're shy. But how does being shy automatically make someone a loser? I don't think that's accurate. I'd far rather be shy than be a loudmouth with no verbal filter.