Intimacy: Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked...

By gorillalove - 11/09/2010 19:25 - United States

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 304

You deserved it 10 562

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Same thing different taste

I am sexy

By Anonymous - 19/12/2019 18:00

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 469

You deserved it 500

By foojew93 - 09/08/2009 17:41 - United States

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 315

You deserved it 3 833

By Anonymous - 15/05/2012 03:52 - United States

Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 942

You deserved it 2 920

By Anonymous - 04/04/2015 12:53 - United States

Today, while at the zoo with my boyfriend, he pointed at the howling gorillas and shouted over to me: "Hah! That's what you sound like in bed!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 589

You deserved it 4 251

You what?

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 04:00 - Venezuela - Caracas

Today, I went to park with a guy I've been infatuated for a long time. We got into his car and found a lovely lonely spot. Then he started talking about kinks, and I noticed that he had a gorilla suit in the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 009

You deserved it 219

Animal union

By Anonymous - 01/02/2023 10:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I went to the zoo to see all of my favorite animals. When I got there, I realized they must've all been on strike or something, and refused to come out of their enclosures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 279

By mc_dreamy - 21/08/2010 16:49 - United States

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 656

You deserved it 16 044

By LennyComa - 19/03/2017 00:00

Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 591

You deserved it 941

What the…

By bunny - 16/08/2009 13:58 - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 339

You deserved it 5 007

By Anonymous - 25/09/2013 21:33 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 242

You deserved it 7 063

djaeb2001 3

Sunday 12 September 2010 1:26

u must be hot!!!!!

cookiesofchaos 0

Sunday 12 September 2010 1:27

pics or... nevermind.

Comments

youknowlolo 0

Sunday 14 November 2010 7:51

Only in Texas... ;D

brunettegurly 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 22:05

you saucy wench.

cristallynn 0

Monday 28 February 2011 6:37

weird

taternuts 0

Sunday 27 March 2011 21:37

would you prefer gorillas stopped jacking off when they saw you? take it as a compliment

EpiclyAvenged 0

Sunday 8 May 2011 10:59

Waiiitttt....male or female?

coolpwnagedude 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 4:41

u should have recorded and posted on YouTube! instant hit I bet

badactor009 0

Saturday 23 July 2011 15:22

Don't take it personally. Gorillas do that. So would most guys if they could get away with it.

luvluvEgla 5

Sunday 31 July 2011 5:06

u must have turned him onnn..... lol

am35629 0

Wednesday 10 August 2011 11:53

I lol'd

sciulli282 0

Monday 22 August 2011 7:27

gorillas can do that?????

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The Top

Today, I’ve been getting a lot of strange messages from guys on the dating site I use, then I realised why: on my profile pic I'm sat down and you can see my nice underwear up my skirt. That explains the messages, they thought I was trolling for men to hump and dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 980

Today, I got dressed, did my hair, carefully applied my makeup, sprayed myself with perfume, grabbed my bag and put on my coat. I got to the door, and then realised that I had nowhere to go, nothing to do and none of my friends were answering my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 486

You deserved it 537

The Top

Today, my boyfriend was inside a cell phone store talking to a sales guy while I waited outside. I sent him a text, not realizing that the guy was using his phone to call customer service. A topless photo of me shows up on his phone when I text him. The sales guy looked. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 553

You deserved it 58 960

Today, I went to an interview for a job at a company I've applied for numerous times this year. When I showed up at the interview room, I found it was a vacant office. I called and confirmed the address. I guess this was my hint to stop applying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 716

You deserved it 4 754

Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really cramped parking spot and said, "Man, that was a tight squeeze." My dad then looked me in the eyes and said, "So was your mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 677

You deserved it 2 959

Today, a fly flew into my ear canal and got stuck. It was the most horrifying two minutes of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 626

You deserved it 1 577

Today, every time I write the word "analyst," I can't help but giggle because it begins with "anal." I'm 24, and studying to be a conflict analyst. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 520

You deserved it 34 135

Today, I told my boyfriend, "We need to talk." He said, "I know". So we met after school, and he said he was OK with me breaking up with him, that he wasn't that into me either. He said all that before I could tell him that my parents wanted to meet him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 361

You deserved it 11 286