Intimacy: Today, I went to Knott's Berry Farm with my girlfriend. After...

By blank13 - 09/08/2009 01:41 - United States

Today, I went to Knott's Berry Farm with my girlfriend. After we got off of Supreme Scream, the ride attendant asked her, "How was it?" She pointed to me and said, "It's like sex with this man, my boyfriend; intense, then disappointing because it only lasts like 30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 658

You deserved it 12 418

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Let's get loud

By Anonymous - 14/11/2010 07:36 - Reserved

Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 711

You deserved it 32 180

By Darth Vomitus - 10/08/2012 18:54 - United States - Mequon

Today, I went to an amusement park with a group of friends, one of whom was a girl I really like. When we got on the roller coaster, I was ecstatic that she wanted to sit next to me. Not even half-way through, I ended up puking all over the both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 527

You deserved it 5 858

Like a virgin

By chchboy - 22/05/2012 05:05 - United States

Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 151

You deserved it 7 122

By Amanda - 02/07/2011 05:33 - United States

Today, I went to the carnival with a guy I like. When we went on the big scary ride where you flip upside down a lot, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Then, I threw up on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 619

You deserved it 4 745

By Anonymous - 09/08/2009 13:27 - Canada

Today, I worked at my job at an amusement park at one of the roller coasters. I have to go around and make sure that every seat belt is around the passenger. I saw my boyfriend in a seat and ran over to say hi. I saw a girl next to him. I had to strap down my cheating boyfriend and the new girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 964

You deserved it 3 897

By bad in the sack - 05/07/2014 04:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 165

You deserved it 11 464

Let down

By anonymous - 21/06/2009 02:00 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 231

You deserved it 17 261

By Ignitingmylightsaber - 18/10/2009 11:29 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 999

You deserved it 3 562

By Nomoreballs - 10/07/2012 23:10 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 741

You deserved it 6 445

By Krissy - 25/01/2010 08:36 - United States

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 555

You deserved it 4 643

redbluegreen 40

Sunday 9 August 2009 12:06

What are you worth? Four, maybe five tickets? All joking aside... Those rides last at least two minutes. Not thirty seconds.

survivalism 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 12:09

Your girlfriend's awesome.

Comments

FlaminYawn 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 13:10

damn that sucks. For every ****** a guy has, he should give his girl at least 3...

miki1 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 13:13

bull shit

star_ver 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 13:24

Knotts Berry Farm and Supreme Scream are awesome. Work on your stamina dude, seriously.

pop2it 5

Saturday 14 August 2010 10:26

hottie

seizaipao 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 13:40

OMG! i have the same exact problem with you, dude. if you know how to cure this, could you tell me, cuz it'll be a great help

fearlesstiger98 0

Tuesday 15 June 2010 13:17

Jack off. Aaaa lot!!! In the shower, in the car, before bed... whenever you have time. That's what my bf did. And now he's a beast.

picturetaker 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 14:04

haha win

NormanRider14 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 14:05

XD wow u dissapoint her dude. PWNED

xEmGai 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 14:05

ROFLMAO; your girlfriend is funny XDD

Alexgoesfml 3

Sunday 9 August 2009 14:14

HAHAHAHA! Your girlfriend is hilarious, get a sense of humour!

firepowahhx90 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 14:16

You know what would be even funnier? If the ride attendent whispered into you're girlfriends ear and said " Well I can make it last 30 MINUTES *wink*"

daemonsparta 16

Wednesday 6 May 2015 20:22

and then op beats his ass for hitting on his girl

visage 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 14:36

lol, learn to screw!

ZiggyMorrison 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 14:45

Jack off before ******* her dumbass hell in your case jack off twice before and most guys first shot is no more than like 4 minutes why cant you go again after the first time?