Health: Today, I went to lick the excess peanut butter off the knife...

By bobby - 12/06/2010 22:13 - United States

Today, I went to lick the excess peanut butter off the knife after making a PB and J. Turns out the knife can and will cut your tongue, even though you don't think it will. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 764

You deserved it 62 527

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By numbtongue - 13/03/2015 04:19 - New Zealand - Dunedin

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 884

You deserved it 4 466

By Anonymous - 16/05/2019 22:00

Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 487

Hangry boi

By Anonymous - 03/08/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I had a massive craving for peanut butter and jelly. While making a sandwich, the jar slipped from my hands, bounced off the counter, and exploded all over my kitchen. Now I have peanut butter and jelly in places I didn't even know existed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 117

By Anonymous - 27/02/2014 14:34 - United States - Fort Collins

Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 052

You deserved it 61 215

Butterfingers

By heeeeeyitsbrittney - 09/05/2019 08:00

Today, I cut myself with a butter knife while trying to get a piece of brownie from a pan. I don't think I was meant to survive on Earth for very long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 579

You deserved it 358

Put it away

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 22:00

Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 985

By Ryan - 07/02/2010 14:18 - France

Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 464

You deserved it 4 062

By M2thaM - 29/05/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 603

You deserved it 56 774

By Anonymous - 04/03/2016 16:47 - United States - Suwanee

Today, I had so much skin peeling off my lips that it got caught in my fork as I was eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 253

You deserved it 5 505

Gammon

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 06:00

Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 939

JesseJaymz 0

Sunday 13 June 2010 3:01

you didn't think a knife made to cut things could cut u?

kraykray_fml 0

Sunday 13 June 2010 3:01

duh. thats pretty obvious it a KNIFE...

Comments

5t3ff1k4h 44

Monday 14 June 2010 2:13

Or don't lick it at all.

twistedteapot 0

Monday 14 June 2010 8:27

stupid

junior_serb 4

Monday 14 June 2010 11:55

nice

youthink_fml 0

Monday 14 June 2010 14:32

Idiot, plain and simple.

heyygirll 0

Monday 14 June 2010 16:00

338 your so pretty:)

monsterDONG 6

Monday 14 June 2010 16:14

345 is right I'd so tap 338 !! : ) lol

RKftw 0

Monday 14 June 2010 20:57

umm it's a knife jackfuck

marie93uso 0

Monday 14 June 2010 21:20

knives CUT?!! I had no idea!! I thought it would gently caress your tongue like a summer breeze! dumbass OP

metalr82 0

Tuesday 15 June 2010 2:34

it's official, your an idiot!! now go rid the world of yourself

Rofl_FML 0

Tuesday 15 June 2010 5:16

Lick it from the blunt end lol. Or use your teeth to scrape it off the knife. But still, YDI, your parents ever tell you not to lick a knife?Also, YDI for liking peanut butter.