Health: Today, I went to lick the excess peanut butter off the knife...

By bobby - 12/06/2010 22:13 - United States

Today, I went to lick the excess peanut butter off the knife after making a PB and J. Turns out the knife can and will cut your tongue, even though you don't think it will. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 764

You deserved it 62 527

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Same thing different taste

By numbtongue - 13/03/2015 04:19 - New Zealand - Dunedin

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 884

You deserved it 4 466

By Anonymous - 16/05/2019 22:00

Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 487

Hangry boi

By Anonymous - 03/08/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I had a massive craving for peanut butter and jelly. While making a sandwich, the jar slipped from my hands, bounced off the counter, and exploded all over my kitchen. Now I have peanut butter and jelly in places I didn't even know existed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 117

By Anonymous - 27/02/2014 14:34 - United States - Fort Collins

Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 052

You deserved it 61 215

Butterfingers

By heeeeeyitsbrittney - 09/05/2019 08:00

Today, I cut myself with a butter knife while trying to get a piece of brownie from a pan. I don't think I was meant to survive on Earth for very long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 579

You deserved it 358

Put it away

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 22:00

Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 985

By Ryan - 07/02/2010 14:18 - France

Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 464

You deserved it 4 062

By M2thaM - 29/05/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 603

You deserved it 56 774

By Anonymous - 04/03/2016 16:47 - United States - Suwanee

Today, I had so much skin peeling off my lips that it got caught in my fork as I was eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 253

You deserved it 5 505

Gammon

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 06:00

Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 939

JesseJaymz 0

Sunday 13 June 2010 3:01

you didn't think a knife made to cut things could cut u?

kraykray_fml 0

Sunday 13 June 2010 3:01

duh. thats pretty obvious it a KNIFE...

Comments

FyourLIFEdotCOM8 0

Sunday 13 June 2010 4:20

no shit Sherlock it's a knife.

josh23c 0

Sunday 13 June 2010 4:45

you call that a knife?! THIS is a knife!

SAYwhatFML 0

Sunday 13 June 2010 4:27

ouchh, thats a fail.

josh23c 0

Sunday 13 June 2010 4:28

I don't advise makin sandwiches with a samuri sword

Samantha_baby 0

Sunday 13 June 2010 4:32

lol win^^

Baby2000 0

Sunday 13 June 2010 4:34

What an idiot.

PeaceLoveAmelia6 0

Sunday 13 June 2010 4:35

Well, no kidding, OP! Did you really expect otherwise?! Licking a knife = cutting your tongue = common sense!

Smyth 3

Sunday 13 June 2010 4:37

yeah...you wayyy past deserve that.

blackllama 0

Sunday 13 June 2010 4:38

are you talking about a butter knife or a steam knife?

kittykataclysm 0

Sunday 13 June 2010 4:42

lol why would you think it wouldn't cut your tongue?! unless it wasn't even on the sharp side? in that case, you're just plain talented :) congrats!

loski87 4

Sunday 13 June 2010 4:45

are you retarded

nikemike 0

Sunday 13 June 2010 4:47

who knew knives were dangerous?

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I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 371

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I agree, your life sucks 37 080

You deserved it 6 600

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I agree, your life sucks 53 095

You deserved it 9 833

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You deserved it 22 213