Miscellaneous: Today, I went to pick a penny off of the ground for good luck.... - FML

By Anonymous - 13/04/2012 09:43 - Canada

Today, I went to pick a penny off of the ground for good luck. Someone kneed me in the butt, I fell face first and broke my glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 791

You deserved it 4 274

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 11/11/2018 13:30

Today, I broke my glasses. How did I break my glasses? A cow kicked me in the face at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 979

You deserved it 259

By Rachal - 30/01/2012 01:27 - United States

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 772

You deserved it 10 920

Bad day for glasses

By Anonymous - 09/10/2022 10:00

Today, I walked into the glass door of my boss’s cabin and broke my spectacles. Thank god for a backup pair, right? Wrong. I fell down the stairs and broke them too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 206

By b. - 24/09/2009 10:06 - Australia

Today, I was going shopping with a friend. I got up to get off the train and landed on my ass. Not only had I walked into the metal bar, I'd broken my $800 glasses, and the train doors had closed, with my friend on the other side of the doors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 145

You deserved it 10 872

By vegantreegirl - 04/02/2019 20:00

Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 486

You deserved it 335

Played a blinder

By hereforfmls - 26/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Jasper

Today, I felt something hit my eye as I was riding on my bike. My glasses ended up falling off. I looked for them for ten minutes before giving up. I ran over them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 601

You deserved it 425

Cough up

By cain001 - 04/01/2011 00:56 - United States

Today, my boss and I were stacking boxes in the back room of the store. One of the boxes fell and hit me in the face, causing me to lose my glasses. My boss stepped on my glasses as she ran to check the box for broken merchandise, which I then had to pay for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 067

You deserved it 2 542

By BloodyNoseMcgee - 11/10/2018 15:30

Today, I dropped some glass at my job while putting it on the shelf. A shard bounced off the floor and went up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 998

You deserved it 181

By Anonymous - 31/05/2016 15:30 - Canada - Saint John

Today, I fell down the stairs while holding some dirty glasses from my room. I ended up pulling pieces of glass from my body. Meanwhile all my mom cares about is the fact that I broke three of her favorite glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 254

You deserved it 1 845

By IHateMyJob - 14/09/2010 02:00 - United States

Today, while scrubbing my car with the foam brush at a car wash, the hose for the brush came whipping around and smacked me hard in the side of the head, knocking off my glasses. I got disoriented from the blow and stepped on my glasses, completely smashing them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 723

You deserved it 3 397

Next

Top comments

tkdgold03 5

Friday 13 April 2012 16:15

it must not have been heads up...

scenechic 5

Friday 13 April 2012 16:15

Happy Friday Thee 13th.

Comments

Nnmmbb9 0

Friday 13 April 2012 16:26

You should of picked up the good luck faster.

style54321 0

Friday 13 April 2012 16:28

That's what they call a corndog at my school they hurt

Pelreskovich 11

Friday 13 April 2012 16:28

Someone? Random person just rhinoed your ass? I take it you just got up and let them walk away? I would have got up and beat their ass and walked away proudly with that penny. I suppose that'd be difficult if you can't see though..

perdix 29

Friday 13 April 2012 16:38

You got some butt action. How is that not lucky? Maybe your broken glasses will push to LASIK or contacts, and then you'll get lucky with your hot, new look.

Halti 4

Friday 13 April 2012 17:05

legend

grannygruber 6

Friday 13 April 2012 16:44

Friday the 13th strikes! Haha, that's funny shit! FYL

The_DoritoNinja 4

Friday 13 April 2012 16:50

It's what you get for picking up Jew gold. I heard they don't like anyone touching their gold.

gracehi 31

Friday 13 April 2012 16:53

^^ I anticipate that this comment will be moderated.

DocBastard 38

Friday 13 April 2012 17:56

I anticipate some kind mod will come along and first moderate this comment, immediately followed by a well-deserved banhammer up the ass. The **** is wrong with you, son?

Kaykay2565 9

Friday 13 April 2012 16:51

Are you Velma from scooby doo?

gracehi 31

Friday 13 April 2012 16:52

That actually happened in Virginia recently, so it's certainly not outside the realm of possibility.

loserman67 35

Friday 13 April 2012 16:53

I get the mental image of OP walking along whistling a happy little tune, when suddenly his "mental dialogue" kicks in: "Hey a penny! See a penny pick it up, all day long have good... ****!"

thejewishfuhrer 17

Friday 13 April 2012 19:43

Sheer brilliance. Bravo sir.

Venaros 5

Friday 13 April 2012 17:11

"It's a trap!"

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The Top

Today, I was bored, so I started to declutter my closet. I found a pair of jeans I hadn't worn in years and thought they'd fit. As I struggled to pull them on, the seam ripped really loud, and my cat shot out from under the bed like a spooked rocket. Apparently even my jeans feel the need to yell at me for getting too big. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 300

Today, I told my mom that I think I’m anorexic and she told me she didn’t care. When I asked why, in disbelief she replied, "Honey, you are 5’3 and over 350 lbs, at this point you NEED to be anorexic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 647

The Top

Today, I saw a neglected potted palm tree on the front porch of what I thought was an empty house down the street from me. I took it home to nurse it back to health. When I got home from work, it was gone. Later, when taking a walk, I spotted the palm, right back on the porch I'd taken it from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 2 627

Today, I was on a plane when I had to use the bathroom. While pulling up my pants, the flush button got stuck and the water kept running. I tried to fix it, but ended up flooding the bathroom and the aisle. The attendants had to give me a towel and escort me back to my seat with everyone on the plane staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 141

Today, I saw my girlfriend at the store and joyfully greeted her. She got really mad at me - it was her identical twin sister, who I still cannot tell apart from my girlfriend. We've been dating for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 938

You deserved it 21 070

Today, I found out that the girl on Facebook that helped me out of my sadness after my break-up and who I'd hopelessly fallen in love with was just a prank by my ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 226

You deserved it 4 506

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. Just as we were ready, his mom called to wish us a happy anniversary. She was so excited for us, she was going to stop by. After throwing out our unused and only spare condom, she called us again and said she was just kidding, and to enjoy ourselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 886

You deserved it 5 862

Today, my manager challenged me to make two big sales at work. Seeing as customers spend a lot of money in our store, I decided the challenge was fairly easy and accepted. She immediately started stealing all of my sales. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 571

You deserved it 884