Animals: Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking...

By ILoveAnimals - 11/06/2012 07:14 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 773

You deserved it 5 550

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Same thing different taste

Freakout

By SheaLili - 07/08/2011 17:14 - United States

Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 491

You deserved it 3 421

Opportunity knocks

By Anonymous - 20/05/2023 22:00

Today, I learned that Guru Tugginmypudha was right, two elephants humping is the ultimate distraction, as in, when two elephants started humping during my kids' trip to the zoo, a mad crowd of idiots rushed to watch, and somewhere in the middle of it all I clearly felt a pickpocket steal my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 715

You deserved it 148

Animal union

By Anonymous - 01/02/2023 10:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I went to the zoo to see all of my favorite animals. When I got there, I realized they must've all been on strike or something, and refused to come out of their enclosures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 279

Get them away from me

By Anonymous - 08/02/2011 16:27 - United States

Today, I was attacked by clowns at work. I don't work at the circus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 992

You deserved it 3 754

By Thanks - 27/11/2009 23:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 321

You deserved it 49 591

By Betchsadface - 13/07/2010 04:34 - United States

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 774

You deserved it 10 796

Tasty treat

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Crystal Lake

Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 770

You deserved it 10 702

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 11:49 - Malaysia

Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a 5 minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 809

You deserved it 7 555

By pplsuck - 25/09/2012 23:57 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I went to eat out. When I sat down, I realized I forgot my straw. I took my purse with me, not wanting it to get stolen. Someone stole my food instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 320

You deserved it 2 779

By steve - 23/12/2011 03:02 - United States

Today, I ran full speed into a brick wall because I saw a tiger. On the other side of a zoo cage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 438

You deserved it 35 856

thatgirlinoregon 21

Monday 11 June 2012 16:06

At least it didn't take your shoe!

Paco_el_Taco 17

Monday 11 June 2012 16:08

Look at it this way, now you don't have to carry all that shit around with you.

Comments

jennt89 10

Monday 11 June 2012 16:15

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

meagy 6

Monday 11 June 2012 16:17

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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KiRaKaT 9

Monday 11 June 2012 17:00

Wow did you read the fml? OP didn't "feed" the elephant her purse the elephant took the purse. Damn elephant ninjas stealing purses and such.....FYL OP!

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 11 June 2012 17:04

I'm having trouble imagining the elephant dressed in a ninja outfit with a katana by its side sneaking up on OP and stealing her purse.

beelee1988 13

Monday 11 June 2012 18:09

I think 21 was being sarcastic ... I hope.

ineslovescats 5

Monday 11 June 2012 16:18

Haha that's super funny, but rather unfortunate OP! I would ask for some sort of compensation for the stuff the elephant ate.

charlack 0

Monday 11 June 2012 16:20

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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Rowdey 10

Monday 11 June 2012 17:54

The stupidity in your comment is literally painful.

missalkali 8

Monday 11 June 2012 18:25

why wasn't you that close to you're English teacher when them teached you the damn language? *disclaimer, I am indeed aware of the grammatical errors in my comment. no need to point them out

NoraT_fml 6

Monday 11 June 2012 18:37

Google Translator can't even translate that comment...

fthku 13

Monday 11 June 2012 18:42

To be fair, #59, Google Translate couldn't translate most comments.

BunchieRules 31

Monday 11 June 2012 21:58

Coming from "America's #1 stoner", I'm not sure he even realized what he was typing. Doc, translator. Stat!

thatgirlinoregon 21

Monday 11 June 2012 16:21

Circus director: "Peanut, where on earth did you get a size 6 patent leather pump?" Elephant: *poker face*

lmfb07 0

Monday 11 June 2012 16:22

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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ManInTheMachine 19

Monday 11 June 2012 16:28

Damn, who pissed in your cornflakes? I doubt the elephant knew any better.

pavlovaaLOVE 7

Monday 11 June 2012 16:29

I hope YOU die for that comment. Idiot

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 11 June 2012 17:06

Elephants pissed in her cornflakes.

NoraT_fml 6

Monday 11 June 2012 18:39

Someone got shit on by an elephant today..

Axipiter 24

Monday 11 June 2012 18:52

I'm sorry, this comment actually DID get a good laugh out of me. It was just so random and unexpected.

laden_swallow09 34

Monday 11 June 2012 20:31

Not random and unexpected, malevolent and hateful.

Quinn32 16

Tuesday 12 June 2012 0:27

I hope we all die (and so does the elephant) or else the world will have a serious overcrowding problem.

sailoroftheseas 7

Monday 11 June 2012 16:25

elephant win

mxpklx 12

Monday 11 June 2012 16:29

Sounds delicious

DjeePee 24

Monday 11 June 2012 16:37

Still elephants in your circusses? Here, they are strictly forbidden. You know, animal abuse. Anyway, I think the circus is in fault. If an elephant can steal stuff from people, he is way to close near them.

TheDrifter 23

Monday 11 June 2012 17:27

There are still a few here, though they don't allow many circuses to have them, the whole cruelty thing. The one that came through here a couple years ago had people doing the stunts, on top of the elephant. Pretty cool, and they sell elephant rides when its not preforming.

MerrikBarbarian 9

Monday 11 June 2012 17:56

Elephants are still legal in north America, but every time they cross state or country lines the circus owner needs to fill out and pay for import and export permits for protected species. Same for tigers and lions. I refuse to see a circus with animals myself... But you are 100% correct. An elephant close enough to steal a purse is far too close to people and is an accident waiting to happen.

MerrikBarbarian 9

Monday 11 June 2012 18:00

Gah I just noticed op is in Austria not America. Serves me right for posting before my coffee... In any case, assuming the use of elephants isn't banned in a country, the requirement of import and re-export permits for protected species is pretty much global since CITES is an international law.