By actually just constipated.. and stupid - 04/03/2015 15:03 - Tunisia

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML
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You deserved it 37 991
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Top comments

feven 32

You should've said "I'm not a man" just to **** with him too

691 6
XxDanno316xX 27

You're not on the pill!? Jeez man. At least use condoms Eh mate!

503 9

Comments

Happy4ever_fml 10

This reminds me of the time I was freaked out by how fat I had become, judging from my large manboobs. Then I remembered I'm a girl... I can totally relate OP!

46 6
i_needa_username 17

Seriously?! How do u ppl function in society???? (no offense!!)

7 38
ThatDamHuntress 20

How do you guys have enough brain cells to talk #24?

23 4
satanarroliga 12

"I'm going to completely insult your intelligence, but no offense!"

36 0
girI 20

How exactly does one forget their gender? I mean, it's been the same since the day you were born (there are obviously exceptions, but they're relatively rare), and I think it's easier to forget your name than your gender...

11 4
otecasacid 22

Water Birth an 8 pounder and it'll be basically the same thing

9 4
tylercarolinex 21

How on earth you even got scared I don't know..

19 1
buckstop1 37

You wouldn't freak out if you were pregnant? Assuming it wasn't planned.

5 16
ItsDutch 16

he was unsure of who was the baby daddy

17 4
jackycat 17

#25 OP lacking the basic parts to get pregnant kind of makes it ridiculous that he freaked out. If the doctor had told OP his girlfriend was pregnant that's an entirely different situation. OP freaked out because he, and man, was pregnant.

11 0
mrmcleod 29

Yeah #25, #15 might freak out because SHE actually has the lady parts to produce a baby.

5 0
i_needa_username 17

How could you forget that?! I doubt this is true P

1 1
ItsDutch 16

Didn't your parents warn you about cooties when you were little?

21 1
Psycho_Babydoll 26

It's oddly comforting to know that men get to share some level of this fear.

22 0
mrmcleod 29

Reminds me of when my wife became pregnant with our first kid. I was afraid to tell my parents. Then I remembered I was 23 with a well paying stable job. But I was seriously freaking out.

6 1
abNormal62 23

I would have paid good money to be there when you tried to explain your "condition" to your partner Clearly you were absent on the day they explained the conception process in health class

15 1
blackonblight 32

Man, virgins who haven't even been kissed freak out over late/missed periods. Because who knows, we may be the first case of human parthenogenesis. But people without a uterus? I think there's a level of safety there.

20 0