Intimacy: Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while and realized...

By Anonymous - 12/05/2009 23:08 - United States

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while and realized that I can lift way more with my left hand than with my right even though I am right handed. I also realized that I jack off with my left hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 013

You deserved it 59 008

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 19:18 - United States

Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 745

You deserved it 37 966

I have no idea what I'm doing

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 10:00

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months and couldn't figure out how to use any of the equipment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 317

By dawg3360 - 07/06/2009 06:02 - Canada

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 639

You deserved it 134 208

By likeyourboss - 04/10/2013 16:05 - Denmark

Today, I went to the gym. I tried out a new machine where you do one-arm weightlifting. I took my time to get into a good position, then set the machine to the lowest weight possible. I couldn't even lift it an inch. A bunch of buff guys nearby saw me and burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 715

You deserved it 5 952

Getting on

By Anonymous - 01/05/2021 23:00

Today, I realized that I’m old, and that it’s been too long since I had sex or even masturbated. How did I notice? Because I tried to, and I found out I couldn’t comfortably spread my legs that far anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 288

By Anonymous - 24/01/2017 20:00

Today, my hand fell asleep while I was masturbating. My own body rejected me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 858

You deserved it 1 615

Overdoing it a bit

By Anonymous - 12/11/2022 16:00

Today, I masturbated so hard I got a cramp in my forearm muscle so unexpectedly that my hand spasmed, slipped off my penis, and I punched myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 1 178

By Delilah - 01/03/2010 08:53 - Norway

Today, I was at the gym with my boyfriend. He is a bit feminine, but it has never really bothered me. Until I realised I was lifting heavier weights than he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 848

You deserved it 9 780

Take it easy

By Endrit Begolli - 27/06/2023 00:02 - Albania

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I was so out of shape that I couldn't even finish my warm-up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 248

By tomchuq - 30/08/2009 07:12 - United States

Today, I realized I can hold a pencil in my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 664

You deserved it 61 251

Nyxen 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 12:37

That's pretty impressive really. Maybe you should switch it up from time to time, and then you'd be able to do serious lifting with both arms.

wollzilla 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 12:35

hahah same. i lose arm wrestling when i use my right hand, but whenever i use my left, i own.

Comments

kemisha24131070 20

Wednesday 16 June 2010 4:27

You should start jacking off with ur right hand

Tummy_tumble 0

Wednesday 16 June 2010 4:42

Start with the right.

bflakes 1

Friday 2 July 2010 3:25

same with me only I am left handed so that's why I use that hand

iloveTheMiz 0

Saturday 31 July 2010 17:14

First! :D

Brandon09044952 0

Monday 22 August 2011 10:47

My boyfriend has the same situation XD

postoasties 0

Sunday 20 November 2011 6:07

mechanic's arm hahahaha

fightingkittens 39

Monday 5 December 2011 7:03

My god, why do people have to always shout "NOT FML?" FMLs don't have to be about your dog and grandmother dying on the same day. They are just supposed to be amusing anecdotes about minor failures that occur in everyday life. Usually they also have some other meaning; in this case, the guy has such a hard time getting laid that he jacks off and is extremely strong because of it.