Love: Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend, and ended up sitting...

By Hana - 23/03/2012 07:39 - Canada - York

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend, and ended up sitting next to this girl who wouldn't stop sneezing. Grossed out, I asked my boyfriend if we could switch seats. After doing so, the girl immediately stopped sneezing and started flirting with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 114

You deserved it 5 990

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Hott

By hotheadslav - 21/06/2015 01:59 - United States - Warsaw

Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 923

You deserved it 4 504

By SaMike - 01/09/2009 01:12 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 741

You deserved it 4 743

Shut up

By anon - 04/05/2009 21:56 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a theater waiting for the movie to start when a hot guy sat next to me. Trying to impress him, I made seemingly witty comments to my friend throughout the movie. When it ended, he loudly complained to his friends about the 'annoying girl' sitting next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 765

You deserved it 105 081

One way or another

By embarrassed - 08/10/2012 09:12 - Australia - Morphett Vale

Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 002

You deserved it 6 138

Close shave

By Elisabeth - 16/08/2020 17:01

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. He went to get popcorn and I went to the bathroom. Thinking he had got back before me, I sat down next to him in the theater. I leaned in to kiss him, then realized it was some 70-year-oldish woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 1 507

By that girl has a beard - 04/08/2015 07:33 - Canada

Today, I went to the movies. A really cute girl sat beside me. I tried to strike up a conversation with her until she turned to look at me and I realized he was a guy. I couldn't even finish the movie because I felt his judging eyes burn holes into me the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 736

You deserved it 6 761

Perfume Allergy Man strikes again!

By Lor - 09/10/2019 06:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, a woman got on the bus wearing extremely strong perfume and sat in the seat in front of me. The gentleman I was sitting next to began violently sneezing, so much so that he eventually sneeze-vomited all over my lap and backpack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 843

You deserved it 172

By braceface - 07/07/2010 13:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I worked up the courage at lunch to sit next to the girl I've been in love with for 3 years. Everything was going great. That is, until I sneezed and my retainer shot out my mouth, and landed in her lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 249

You deserved it 8 029

By Achoo - 15/10/2009 07:07 - United States

Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 906

You deserved it 5 152

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 09:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting on the bus when a large woman with what seemed like the flu came to sit beside me. After snorting hideously for five minutes, she picked up her scarf, blew her nose into it, and dropped it. It fell on my lap. When I stood up to leave the bus, there were streaks of snot on my new skirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 241

You deserved it 3 091

asiancosmo 7

Friday 23 March 2012 16:05

trifling ho

xxmuzicfreakxx 5

Friday 23 March 2012 16:10

Well if he was a good boyfriend, he would've told her to shut up and watch the movie.

Comments

docscientist 9

Friday 23 March 2012 19:54

Who gets grossed out by someone sneezing?

gators1995 30

Wednesday 3 July 2013 20:35

Germaphobics and anyone really. Especially if their snot lands on you.

Rocky007 15

Friday 23 March 2012 20:11

Ah, the old sneeze till you drive the girlfriend away then snatch the boyfriend trick. Hadn't seen that one in awhile.

skyeyez9 24

Friday 23 March 2012 20:21

That was when I would have excused myself to the snack bar in the lobby to buy an extra large coke, then accidentally spill the entire cup on her head and hopefully inside her purse.

C0N71NG3NCY 6

Friday 23 March 2012 20:22

He should ditch you for her then. Clearly she's superior to you as she is a better schemer, a trait which will no doubt greatly advantage any children they have together. Also your parents decided to give you a retarded name in grossly misspelling "Hannah", therefore you are equally unsuitable based on that factor.

IdfkMyUsernamexC 5

Friday 23 March 2012 23:23

*Sneeze* Sorry I'm allergic to judgmental people!

jbsington 8

Saturday 24 March 2012 13:35

Didn't anyone see the irony in this comment? Come on.

apollo16 6

Monday 26 March 2012 4:25

Your a jerk! Her boyfriend is obviously classy if he chose her over that *****! Didn't your mother ever tell you "if you don't have anything nice to say... DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!"