Love: Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my...

By IB6UB9 - 28/11/2009 17:32 - United States

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 169

You deserved it 6 976

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By chapstick - 09/01/2014 03:23 - United States - San Dimas

Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 896

You deserved it 13 695

Not a biology major

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 04:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend ate glitter. When I asked him why he would do such an insane thing, he replied, "I wanted my jizz to sparkle." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 678

You deserved it 281

By Anonymous - 21/06/2019 04:30

Today, I sparkled because of this glitter bar my mother got me from Lush. I didn't realize until after I got out of the shower that it wasn't just ordinary soap. I tried to wipe off the glitter. It wouldn't come off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 640

You deserved it 282

By miss tomato - 08/06/2012 16:36 - United States

Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 507

You deserved it 5 672

By hopelessteej - 28/01/2013 13:55 - Australia - Sydney

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 138

You deserved it 4 096

By titou - 05/01/2009 03:33 - France

Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 725

You deserved it 32 652

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 536

You deserved it 5 374

By msnewyearseve - 01/01/2012 17:19 - United States

Today, I woke up after a long night of partying. When I went to wash off my face, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My missing tooth was almost enough to make me overlook my black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 867

You deserved it 33 133

By Raaar - 26/08/2009 04:29 - United States

Today, I went to a concert. Knowing these concerts usually include a lot of black lights, I decided to wear a black T-shirt so I wouldn't glow. I was having a good time, but about halfway through I noticed someone pointing to my shoulder. I looked down to see my dandruff glowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 490

You deserved it 17 678

Cute but… TMI

By heytherexo - 05/04/2009 02:10 - United States

Today, while I was showering, my 3 year-old son came to the bathroom and put on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterwards, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 957

You deserved it 93 491

aaaaa2p 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 23:02

Your wife sucks.

TheLoneWolf87 4

Saturday 28 November 2009 23:05

We seriously need a Who Gives A Damn About Twilight feature on FML.

Comments

metro_mello 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:55

EW lol I ******* HATE twilight. Funny thing is i used to be obsessed with twilight 3 years ago before anyone knew wtf twilight was. Now when it became famous all of a sudden it just annoyed me that everyone talked about it all the time to the point where i wanted to smash my head in! Besides, after reading stephanie myers books I have come to find that she is NOT a good writer at all. The only good book she has ever written was twilight she should have kept it at that :)

Dee_Jayy 0

Sunday 17 January 2010 10:31

I love this FML, makes me lol big time (:

honeybee366 0

Saturday 23 January 2010 22:43

GAY!!!!!! I'd kill her.

toni2thumbs 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 7:21

see that's cute.

purple_cherry 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 10:48

Your wife has a weird sense of humor. You too, since you married her.

EmmaMarieCullen 0

Friday 26 February 2010 21:22

damn!! I should do that to my boy friend!

Ieat3gnomes 0

Monday 15 March 2010 0:47

If I were you I would have divorced her and cut her eyes out with a spork.

meta_knight_486 5

Thursday 8 April 2010 22:23

**** Twilight.

thebestapple 0

Thursday 13 May 2010 21:50

The Twilight books are fine, but when people get overly obsessed, then it's creepy. But guys, chill, it could have just been a joke. That's actually pretty funny. Unless she was serious, then a total FYL, but otherwise? Just... chill, people. Do yoga or something. Sheesh.

glitterbabe224 0

Tuesday 25 May 2010 5:04

pretty funny(: I meen i'm not one of the obsessive freaks, I have never read a single word in the books but I did watch the movie with a friend, and I consider myself more of a wolf girl(: k bye(: