Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up at 4:40AM and went to the kitchen. My brother... - FML

By Anonymous - 01/05/2011 18:49 - New Zealand

Today, I woke up at 4:40AM and went to the kitchen. My brother and his steel-capped boots easily found me in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 025

You deserved it 3 845

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/01/2015 08:44

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 948

You deserved it 2 841

Not a night owl

By Fail - 04/02/2023 15:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I woke up at the ungodly hour of 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom. It was of course quite dark, and unbeknownst to me, the door was closed. I walked into it. Then I tried to open it, missed the door knob, and walked into the door again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 584

You deserved it 288

By something - 16/02/2019 18:00

Today, I was walking home from school and my stupid brother who comes earlier then me locked the storm door. I ended up trying every other door for 3 hours in below freezing temperature. I was numb everywhere. I rang the bell and my brother opened it. He was home the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 365

You deserved it 2 555

By makeyourselfathome - 17/09/2014 12:18 - Australia - Richmond

Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 514

You deserved it 3 025

By vinniesuckmadack - 24/04/2009 17:53 - United States

Today, I woke up to go to school. I was unbelievably tired, but I gathered the courage to go take my shower. I then took a long shower, cleaned up my room, got dressed, and ate breakfast. Going back to my room, I looked at the clock, which read 3:22 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 455

You deserved it 37 985

By rhplb - 17/05/2016 13:10 - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, I arrived to work at exactly 8 so I could leave at exactly 5, without overtime. I found out later that my brother took my keys with him somewhere and now I can't enter the house until he gets back at 11. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 118

You deserved it 900

By Anonymous - 23/07/2019 23:07 - Canada - Stoney Creek

Today, I was woken up and kicked out of my friend's party at 3:00 in the morning. This wouldn't have been so bad if someone hadn't stolen my shoes. I had to walk for an hour in the rain, in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 628

You deserved it 403

Occam's razor

By anonymous - 12/02/2011 05:48 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 818

You deserved it 4 718

By blackvogue - 01/04/2009 10:42 - Canada

Today, I got up early to prank my family. I put a bucket of ice water on top of a door frame so whoever walked through would get an icy surprise. After I was done, I went back to bed. I woke up groggy and disoriented like always and walked right through the doorway I had rigged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 422

You deserved it 168 126

Sorry guys, please don't hurt me

By Anonymous - 11/12/2024 09:00 - United States - Eugene

Today, I tried to sneak a snack from the kitchen without waking anyone up. In my stealthy quest for a late night sandwich, I managed to knock over a stack of pots of pans and woke up the entire frat house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 367

Next

Top comments

ceinaworus 0

Monday 2 May 2011 3:31

so, I'm going for the most negative comment on FML. rate this as negative please : ) thanks everybody! but seriously, I don't want any positive rate shit going on.

j_cat187 19

Sunday 1 May 2011 23:40

with the steel toe, how you feel though, with my foot cramed up ur ass like a *****.

Comments

CitrusGirl 0

Monday 2 May 2011 0:20

Curb stomp!

freakincage 0

Monday 2 May 2011 3:52

hahaha goodone

woahbro2slow 0

Monday 2 May 2011 0:20

that's why your house has lights

88sforlife 0

Monday 2 May 2011 0:23

ouuch !

Mr_Alex 5

Monday 2 May 2011 0:28

open your damn eyes or use your brain and turn lights on?!?

hubla 0

Monday 2 May 2011 10:21

open your eyes look up to the skyscraper and see

hubla 0

Monday 2 May 2011 10:23

*skys damn auto correct

Katie_the_Great 6

Monday 2 May 2011 0:29

So after you kick his ass, You... kick it again!

Hotlanta 5

Monday 2 May 2011 0:30

agreed, but instead of kicking his ass he should just kick his shins with those bad boys.

LaughterofCorn 4

Monday 2 May 2011 0:31

Late night snacking eh? Well those boots taught you a lesson about stealing Oreos from the family.

Nyolia 11

Monday 2 May 2011 0:35

Who wears boots at night in their house?

j_cat187 19

Monday 2 May 2011 0:41

i do

thebestof1984 0

Monday 2 May 2011 2:26

I do too.

bentleyGCspeed 0

Monday 2 May 2011 2:36

I do, thrice.

bentleyGCspeed 0

Monday 2 May 2011 2:36

I do, thrice.

bentleyGCspeed 0

Monday 2 May 2011 2:36

I do, thrice.

SteelCladAngel 0

Monday 2 May 2011 2:46

people just getting home from work or partying people who are insomniacs and wander all night both inside and outside...and most people wear some sort of footwear outside lol

every1luvsvag 10

Monday 2 May 2011 3:50

C-c-c combo breaker!

bengermin 5

Monday 2 May 2011 1:12

...and THAT'S why I always wear diapers.

jayalexander 7

Monday 2 May 2011 2:02

who wears steel toed boots at 4 in the morning? i sense a very disturbing fantasy.....

thebestof1984 0

Monday 2 May 2011 2:27

I do but at 3:00 in the morning!

ItsAllBeenDone 0

Monday 2 May 2011 3:04

it's totally normal to wear steel toe boots in the kitchen at three in the morning. everybody does it. but at for in the morning? that's just ridiculous.

jayalexander 7

Monday 2 May 2011 3:43

ahhh but not for ops brother... he might've been trying to seduce for his crazy pleasure...

ItsAllBeenDone 0

Monday 2 May 2011 3:47

ahh good point. maybe he was naked, but he feels self conscious about his feet so he was wearing his boots.

iLoVeMY55 0

Monday 2 May 2011 6:01

haha that must be it

dusthawg 4

Monday 2 May 2011 7:17

I wear my steel toe boots in the morning cause that's when I start shift

thebestof1984 0

Monday 2 May 2011 10:02

I work at the airport at 4am so I wear them that early!

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You deserved it 3 482

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I agree, your life sucks 3 977

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I agree, your life sucks 54 617

You deserved it 3 994

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I agree, your life sucks 37 694

You deserved it 4 179