Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up at 4:40AM and went to the kitchen. My brother... - FML

By Anonymous - 01/05/2011 18:49 - New Zealand

Today, I woke up at 4:40AM and went to the kitchen. My brother and his steel-capped boots easily found me in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 025

You deserved it 3 845

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/01/2015 08:44

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 948

You deserved it 2 841

Not a night owl

By Fail - 04/02/2023 15:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I woke up at the ungodly hour of 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom. It was of course quite dark, and unbeknownst to me, the door was closed. I walked into it. Then I tried to open it, missed the door knob, and walked into the door again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 584

You deserved it 288

By something - 16/02/2019 18:00

Today, I was walking home from school and my stupid brother who comes earlier then me locked the storm door. I ended up trying every other door for 3 hours in below freezing temperature. I was numb everywhere. I rang the bell and my brother opened it. He was home the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 365

You deserved it 2 555

By makeyourselfathome - 17/09/2014 12:18 - Australia - Richmond

Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 514

You deserved it 3 025

By vinniesuckmadack - 24/04/2009 17:53 - United States

Today, I woke up to go to school. I was unbelievably tired, but I gathered the courage to go take my shower. I then took a long shower, cleaned up my room, got dressed, and ate breakfast. Going back to my room, I looked at the clock, which read 3:22 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 455

You deserved it 37 985

By rhplb - 17/05/2016 13:10 - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, I arrived to work at exactly 8 so I could leave at exactly 5, without overtime. I found out later that my brother took my keys with him somewhere and now I can't enter the house until he gets back at 11. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 118

You deserved it 900

By Anonymous - 23/07/2019 23:07 - Canada - Stoney Creek

Today, I was woken up and kicked out of my friend's party at 3:00 in the morning. This wouldn't have been so bad if someone hadn't stolen my shoes. I had to walk for an hour in the rain, in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 628

You deserved it 403

Occam's razor

By anonymous - 12/02/2011 05:48 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 818

You deserved it 4 718

By blackvogue - 01/04/2009 10:42 - Canada

Today, I got up early to prank my family. I put a bucket of ice water on top of a door frame so whoever walked through would get an icy surprise. After I was done, I went back to bed. I woke up groggy and disoriented like always and walked right through the doorway I had rigged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 422

You deserved it 168 126

Sorry guys, please don't hurt me

By Anonymous - 11/12/2024 09:00 - United States - Eugene

Today, I tried to sneak a snack from the kitchen without waking anyone up. In my stealthy quest for a late night sandwich, I managed to knock over a stack of pots of pans and woke up the entire frat house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 367

Next

Top comments

ceinaworus 0

Monday 2 May 2011 3:31

so, I'm going for the most negative comment on FML. rate this as negative please : ) thanks everybody! but seriously, I don't want any positive rate shit going on.

j_cat187 19

Sunday 1 May 2011 23:40

with the steel toe, how you feel though, with my foot cramed up ur ass like a *****.

Comments

kevin27_fml 3

Monday 2 May 2011 2:07

At least you were going to the right place.

FMLLogan 1

Monday 2 May 2011 2:18

you totally deserve it

Eggcalm 0

Monday 2 May 2011 2:22

ignore me plz~I'm just testing~

rebel128 5

Monday 2 May 2011 3:10

lol

endora914 0

Monday 2 May 2011 3:19

I guess lights on for safety didn't happen here. at least it was a boot and not a baseball bat.

wolfgirl2012 0

Monday 2 May 2011 3:21

this FML is stupid and doesnt count as a fml

xosmiilexo 0

Monday 2 May 2011 4:04

Sad part is, this has happened to me. Like, WTF lol.

xosmiilexo 0

Monday 2 May 2011 4:07

Btw, 4:40 is not the night. It is technecally the morning, and my brother, a mechanic, must where them and that's the time they usually get up. So, if you people would use your brain. JUST A LITTLE.

iLoVeMY55 0

Monday 2 May 2011 6:05

I think it's really why didn't you use your brain "just a little" and turn the light switch on if it was dark @4:40 a.m.

imnotcraZ 0

Monday 2 May 2011 4:25

ouch

mralman16 5

Monday 2 May 2011 4:34

thats not even that bad, I was walking down my hallway and stubbed my toe on a crate and got cellulitis and it always comes back now

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You deserved it 528

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I agree, your life sucks 16 219

You deserved it 30 794

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I agree, your life sucks 41 003

You deserved it 3 547

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I agree, your life sucks 42 471

You deserved it 3 387

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I agree, your life sucks 6 875

You deserved it 518

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I agree, your life sucks 2 483

You deserved it 277