Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually,...

By nerdygirl101 - 13/03/2010 05:27 - United States

Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 702

You deserved it 4 315

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Same thing different taste

Lock your doors

By homealone - 14/12/2016 23:27 - United States - Poughkeepsie

Today, after a long day at work, I fell asleep in my living room. When I woke up, I saw a man leaving my bedroom wearing my pajamas, and I started screaming as he casually left. The cops came and apparently he's mentally ill. He truly believed it was his house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 311

You deserved it 558

By Anonymous - 29/12/2009 18:52 - Canada

Today, my mom informed me that she saw me sleepwalking last night. I didn't think much of it, until I remembered that I went to bed without any clothes on last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 572

You deserved it 6 879

By hellphone_fml - 01/07/2019 20:00

Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 378

You deserved it 659

By IrisKitty - 18/08/2015 07:07 - United States - Englewood

Today, I found out my grandma sleeps in the nude. I witnessed her running naked from her bedroom to the bathroom, because she "didn't have enough time" to put on her robe. I need to get my own place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 759

You deserved it 6 854

By Anonymous - 28/10/2015 15:09 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 630

You deserved it 3 138

By Anonymous - 27/08/2009 19:28 - United States

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 958

You deserved it 21 612

By malebonding - 17/08/2009 13:50 - United States

Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 339

You deserved it 14 923

Let it all dangle

By Anonymous - 08/10/2023 07:30 - United States

Today, my 76 year-old mother-in-law stayed the night at our house. I bumped into her on the way to the bathroom during the night. She discovered I sleep naked. Sadly, I found out that she does, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 784

I'll get the kettle on

By Anonymous - 22/10/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got locked out of my house while wearing pyjamas. I didn’t have my phone, so I had to ask my neighbour to call a locksmith. She insisted on chatting at me for an hour about her love life, while I sat there waiting desperately for the locksmith in my dinosaur-print pyjamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 177

By anonymous - 17/01/2017 20:00

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and had to go to the bathroom in my dorm. After coming out of the bathroom, I realized I'd let my auto-locking door close behind me. I had to go through the whole dorm, sprint across campus in my bra and underwear, and ask someone for my spare key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 407

You deserved it 1 878

lettertjes 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 12:02

Ohhh that's bad I would be totally freaked out. Maybe you should also think about what caused the sleepwalking and do something about that. The most common causes are stress and alcohol abuse.

maskedman 9

Saturday 13 March 2010 13:19

It's a good thing you're a woman. If you were a man you'd be registering as a sex offender right now. Then it wouldn't matter where you move.

Comments

kreeper900 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 17:56

you should probably move when your lease expires. while it is a tad bit funny you should probably sleep clothed from now on. I have known people to get all the way into their car and start it before they woke up. you may consider hiding your keys at night....

koco4 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 17:59

You shouldn't move because people in your building may gave saw you naked but you weren't harmed, you were taken care of. You found out the hard way that you have a pretty safe place to live in, especially since you live in NJ.

koco4 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 18:01

*have

monkeyterumo 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 18:00

Wow! how scary and embarrassing. fyl cause its something you cant control.

monkeyterumo 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 18:02

i totally agree you could have walked out in the middle of the road or something.

Nick86 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 18:05

# 17 Can you learn some English please?

mc1900 4

Saturday 13 March 2010 18:08

there's a space in my building - feel free to knock on my door anytime

RamsesX 5

Saturday 13 March 2010 18:18

I think I live in your building! When you woke up, did your ****** hurt?

UrLiFsuX 4

Saturday 13 March 2010 18:21

ya, you need to go see someone about, but in the meantime you left your reading glasses over here the other night. :)

ezrl_ritvoi 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 18:55

she lives in her LOCKED apartment and still did this op-- that sucks so bad... the worst thing I've done when sleep walking was slitting my wrists and burning a pillow... FYL