Intimacy: Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night... - FML

By holyshitbatman - 22/09/2012 14:06 - United States - Chicago

Spicy

Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 532

You deserved it 29 767

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/02/2011 21:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 102

You deserved it 44 835

Awkward

By Nikki - 18/03/2009 03:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 186

You deserved it 91 573

Couldn't have been that great

By Anonymous - 16/04/2021 16:59 - Netherlands

Spicy

Today, I woke up naked in my best friend's roommate's bed. We had sex and I puked on the bed. My first sex in over a year and I don't remember a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 1 147

By StiffPvtParts - 04/06/2019 18:00

Spicy

Today, after a night of drinking, I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a sight of my roommate playing with my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 241

You deserved it 301

Date grape

By Anonymous - 05/09/2019 08:02 - United States - Staten Island

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were drinking wine naked after sex. He went to get another glass, but on the way back tripped and fell flat on his face. His roommate unexpectedly came home, saw him face-down on the floor, thought I'd drugged him and tackled me before I could explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 117

You deserved it 245

By gold3nshow3r - 09/03/2017 20:00 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 574

You deserved it 436

By tapeissticky591 - 14/07/2012 05:49 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, I woke up naked, duck-taped to the wall, with no memory of last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 908

You deserved it 36 515

By homewrecker - 01/08/2009 13:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 077

You deserved it 64 032

Twisted

By sleepwalker - 22/11/2009 01:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 776

You deserved it 4 725

By paulinapo - 30/05/2013 01:53 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 342

You deserved it 9 837

Next

Top comments

ThatsHowItsDoneS 2

Saturday 22 September 2012 19:14

That's a pain in the ass isn't it

dansythomas 6

Saturday 22 September 2012 19:13

You're ******

Comments

FireFlie07 20

Sunday 23 September 2012 23:55

Haha, that's like that one movie with Madonna in it. What was it called? Cannot remember.

tigerxenvy 5

Monday 24 September 2012 0:22

Dear Gawd....

imperialtl 12

Monday 24 September 2012 5:24

Looks like you're roommate isn't the only gay one in that apartment.

pabst4america 1

Monday 24 September 2012 7:44

**** it I'll have a night of gay sex with my roommate no ****

Ottokiller 3

Monday 24 September 2012 9:15

If no one remembers...then nothing happened. xD

afairshake 8

Monday 24 September 2012 10:52

So how does coming out of the closet feel

garpernica 1

Monday 24 September 2012 13:13

the roommate won't never tell

asdfghjklkayt 3

Monday 24 September 2012 23:49

that sucks dick. oh wait, thats just you..

aaron54345 3

Tuesday 25 September 2012 5:14

That's hot

needsagf14 12

Tuesday 25 September 2012 5:20

Yeah sure he doesn't remember

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Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Bosses Capitalism Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 536

You deserved it 65 008

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 508

You deserved it 15 067

The Top

Today, my wife gave me my Christmas gift, a novelty kitchen sponge, then suggested I try it out on the sink full of dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 1 051

Today, while playing The Sims 2, I realized I had a virtual person's whole life planned out, and have nothing planned out for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 255

You deserved it 49 347

Today, my friends let me win at strip poker so I wouldn't take off my clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 418

You deserved it 6 537

Today, at work, two teenage girls caused a huge scene and told me to get lost, after I asked if they needed any help. Their reasoning: they didn't want to be helped by "someone who doesn't have a thigh gap." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 270

You deserved it 3 691

Today, my husband deleted the Messenger app, because he doesn't use it a lot, and people can text him. That's fine, but he didn't tell any of his contacts that. All his friends think he's blocked them. He's now pouting, because no one's texting him. He's not on Facebook, so no-one sees him there either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 212

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 694

You deserved it 46 121