Love: Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in... - FML

By Jonathan - 13/10/2008 08:27

Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 414

You deserved it 19 720

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Where am I?

By Anonymous - 13/10/2008 08:25

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 994

You deserved it 108 952

By 123roomielover - 26/01/2011 17:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 565

You deserved it 3 740

By VacationTSA - 19/02/2009 16:29 - United States

Today, I woke up in a girl's bed, who I've had a crush on for two years. She was sleeping on the floor with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 860

You deserved it 4 209

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 696

You deserved it 2 385

By SoVeryMonday - 30/11/2009 18:01 - Canada

Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 160

You deserved it 9 525

By Dirty_Mind_69 - 20/07/2013 08:35 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 220

You deserved it 9 936

By scatter00x - 08/02/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 095

You deserved it 7 096

How romantic

By SmokedSalmon - 13/02/2009 00:54 - United States

Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 246

You deserved it 43 583

Drunk hookup ends with a… bang

By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 482

You deserved it 554

By hoody - 22/01/2010 22:27 - United States

Today, I got to sleep in the same bed as the love of my life...and her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 485

You deserved it 5 915

Next

Top comments

kirstyfaerie 0

Friday 6 March 2009 5:35

only half naked? you're not very ambitious.

birchofacookie 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 5:24

That's weird. Today, I was having sex on a boat with a hot brunette. Then, I woke up. And Samus slapped me.

Comments

i_stay_anonymous 0

Saturday 26 September 2009 22:34

Cute, ahaha.

14_dancer_14 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 2:24

lol,i hate it when that happens!!!

TheButler 0

Wednesday 4 November 2009 17:09

dude u said that to a girl who not even in he teens.... WTF DUDE

TheButler 0

Wednesday 4 November 2009 17:10

i've done it more than a few times mate :) u can do it... it's jokes

loveyahun 0

Thursday 19 November 2009 2:45

Lmao. Why not a fully naked brunette?

koolitaliano 0

Monday 4 January 2010 14:10

I know how you feel. I was aske on a date by the girl I love. when I woke up I actually started to get dressed to go...

467itsbritt 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 4:11

aww poor guy hope come true and have similar but non nude

bigdong12incher 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 14:55

**** YOU ALL.

mc1900 4

Wednesday 10 February 2010 21:01

guys, is it normal to shit ferrets? i'm onlu asking because uhm it happened to me just now i was reading fmls while on the shitter and yeah 8(

Luvin_life_17 0

Saturday 6 March 2010 4:34

lol haha sucks for u!!!poor baybay

applesmoothiee 2

Sunday 4 April 2010 23:44

That's the FML, Einstein

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Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Health Covid Cheating Jealousy Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Roommate Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, I let my 4-month old puppy sleep with me. She’s been constipated for a while. I woke up to a foul odor in the middle of the night. Turns out she took a massive dump on the bed right by my head. I had to completely strip my bed to go back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 473

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 487

You deserved it 38 932

The Top

Today, I got a phone call, and the person on the other line started speaking French. I assumed it was my friend since we usually speak French with each other, so I said in French "What do you want, asshole?". It wasn't my friend. It was a representative for the exchange program I'm applying for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 018

You deserved it 97 483

Today, when I woke up, one half of my face was smooth and clear and the other half looked as if I got slapped by the Hand of Puberty itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 902

You deserved it 1 871

Today, my sister couldn't find the spare key I gave her for my apartment, so I had to pay a $50 fee to the leasing office. Not 30 minutes after paying, she found the key. In her purse. On her keychain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 053

You deserved it 339

Today, I kissed my girlfriend goodbye at the train station when a familiar woman's voice screamed, "You unfaithful piece of shit!" My sister had just wanted to troll me, which ended with my girlfriend slapping me twice, kicking my balls, and calling me some absurd names. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 280

You deserved it 218

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 928

You deserved it 5 364

Today, I ordered take out, and paid with a credit card. The cute cashier gave me the receipt to sign, and under 'tip' I gave a couple of dollars. I realized that I had given too much, crossed it out, and changed it. Unaware she was watching, She then responded, "Did you just lower the tip by $1?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 681

You deserved it 75 238