Intimacy: Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking...

By Anonymous - 19/02/2011 21:29 - United States

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 100

You deserved it 44 835

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Ah hell - 31/01/2009 14:43 - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 872

You deserved it 52 667

By holyshitbatman - 22/09/2012 14:06 - United States - Chicago

Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 532

You deserved it 29 765

By weirdesout - 05/06/2010 02:03 - United States

Today, I found out that my best friend kisses me while I sleep. We're both guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 979

You deserved it 8 743

By homewrecker - 01/08/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 076

You deserved it 64 024

Alexa, play "Asleep" by The Smiths

By Anonymous - 01/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 668

You deserved it 222

By Anonymous - 20/11/2018 17:35

Today, my best friend and my ex-boyfriend went on a business trip, got drunk, and ended up sleeping together. Now they want to start dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 846

You deserved it 354

And today on Maury…

By Anonymous - 24/04/2020 20:00

Today, I was driving my best friend home when he admitted to being gay. I was glad he could trust me with a secret like this. Until he admitted to having sex with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 704

You deserved it 207

By Anonymous - 25/11/2010 13:41 - United States

Today, my best friend, with whom I have been in love for years, kissed me, hugged me, held my hand, hooked up with me and told me that he loved me more than anything and wanted to be with me... until he sobered up and his girlfriend got back to town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 695

You deserved it 8 227

By drunk - 06/03/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 280

You deserved it 40 950

By tequilashot - 20/09/2016 04:40 - Brazil - Porto Alegre

Today, I finally had sex with the man with whom I've been in love for months. Too bad I was too drunk to remember a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 622

You deserved it 4 822

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Sunday 20 February 2011 0:32

No ****.

blackbird31 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 0:36

You may want to reconsider the "straight" part.

Comments

Doortje 29

Sunday 20 February 2011 0:41

Keep telling yourself that. But no really, as long as you're both single.. Might want to turn that best friend into best friend with benefits?

GoodLookingGeese 10

Sunday 20 February 2011 1:01

yeah, it's easier to sh$t right now..

Miii_fml 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 6:08

lmfao!!

DaniLupin 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 0:41

Not anymore you're not.

rscanlan313 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 0:52

I was thinking the same thing

SirHobnobs 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 0:42

Say it was a threesome and the girl left, And bottle up your true feelings for the rest if your life.

alliede88 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 0:52

my exact same thought

sheehan35 2

Sunday 20 February 2011 4:22

that would still be pretty gay

one2three 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 0:43

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Xx_Nikky_xX 4

Sunday 20 February 2011 3:08

obviously

_blah_blah_blah_ 1

Sunday 20 February 2011 0:43

dear anonymous: you are, at least, bisexual...accept this, grow up, and move on..you'll be happier you did..

Ur1Temptazian 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 0:43

Straight? Uhhh, not no more!!!

xxjordan715xx 17

Sunday 20 February 2011 0:43

Not any more!

637R4YP3D 5

Sunday 20 February 2011 0:44

Guess what: You're not both straight males!

inevitablex 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 0:44

how can a straight guy enjoy gay sex? what a paradox. might wanna reconsider your sexual orientation.

ryno2004 1

Sunday 20 February 2011 0:47

why can't a straight guy enjoy gay sex?

OrgasmicBunnies 9

Sunday 20 February 2011 0:48

oxymorons for the win.

smile3abe 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 3:19

cause there straight.? dumb ass

Dnorris007 0

Sunday 20 February 2011 3:41

hahahaha it's cause that's were guys g-spots are. for some guys it hurts like and others it feels really good.

QueenPersephone 9

Sunday 20 February 2011 4:08

No. It's because they're straight, 'dumbass'.

OrgasmicBunnies 9

Sunday 20 February 2011 0:45

well.... can't really emphasize your straight males and it was the best sex you ever had...... good luck telling mom and dad

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight

The Top

Today, I found one of those realistic, expensive sex dolls in my boyfriend's cupboard. I asked why on earth he had that and apparently it’s for all those filthy, violent sexual things he likes to do, but knows most women would never even agree to try. Um, WHAT? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 529

Today, after a broken smoke detector in my home caused the fire department to come, I got an angry visit from my neighbor who was upset because she had parked in front of a fire hydrant and got a ticket. She demands that I pay it, "or else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 748

You deserved it 2 452

The Top

Today, I learned that there is an actual medical term for having trouble making decisions of any kind. I'm not sure if I should feel understood because I know it's an actual disorder, or be angry that people still believe it's fake when I show it to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 215

Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 180

You deserved it 3 528

Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 921

You deserved it 3 354

Today, my mother-in-maw informed us that she sold her house and is moving in with us so we'll "take care" of her in old age. She's in perfect health. We've only been married for 4 months. My wife can't stand her for more than 2 weeks at a time, let alone living with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 816

You deserved it 2 969

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 879

You deserved it 8 830

Today, I decided to bleach my belly hair. I bought some body hair bleach at the drug store, and I used it exactly as instructed. When I removed it, I was horrified to see my belly was about three shades lighter than the rest of my body. The hair was still exactly the same darkness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 333

You deserved it 24 664

Same thing different taste

Alexa, play "Asleep" by The Smiths

And today on Maury…

Top comments

Comments