Animals: Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead.... - FML

By Anonymous - 24/01/2011 05:40 - Egypt

Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 682

You deserved it 4 334

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Same thing different taste

By jrad - 08/09/2010 19:23 - United States

Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 839

You deserved it 3 553

Good boy

By AgathedeBlouse - 18/11/2008 06:42 - France

Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 566

You deserved it 25 172

By phillyfan4life - 21/02/2011 19:50 - United States

Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 810

You deserved it 28 487

By Anonymous - 24/10/2015 16:41 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 525

You deserved it 3 240

By Anonymous - 27/08/2014 23:04 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 582

You deserved it 7 518

By Anonymous - 21/05/2011 21:29 - Denmark

Today, I woke up, rolled over, and kissed the boy who was peacefully sleeping next to me, cheerfully saying, "Good morning, baby!" That boy is my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 420

You deserved it 34 831

By anonamous - 12/03/2012 21:45 - United States

Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 165

You deserved it 9 126

By Annie - 22/11/2009 22:07 - Mexico

Today, I noticed that my dog was feeling sad. I let him hop on my bed with me to make him feel better. It worked, right after he vomited all over my face and pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 669

You deserved it 6 031

By Crystal_Nicole - 14/12/2013 05:05 - United States - Wichita

Today, my dog played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 515

You deserved it 7 068

By SHIT-BREATH - 05/06/2013 16:03 - United Kingdom - Chepstow

Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 498

You deserved it 15 110

Next

Top comments

41srsh 0

Monday 24 January 2011 12:18

how sad!

m2j 1

Monday 24 January 2011 12:17

aww

Comments

crazyfaint 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 5:48

:/

TheLastZombie 3

Thursday 3 February 2011 0:52

OMG! :{

jonnymatt 0

Thursday 3 February 2011 14:45

dumb dog...

momma_jess20 0

Friday 11 March 2011 8:26

wow people are assholes for saying ydi...this is definately a fyl. sorry :/

namehere401 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 4:34

daaaaaaanm

AlyLovesAlex 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 6:06

awhhhhh

PlasmaVirus 4

Sunday 10 April 2011 3:52

If it was a human, nobody would have given this much sympathy. I'm going to be called a "dog hater" for this, I just know it, even though I love animals myself; I don't worship them like they deserve any more than we do.

girlychic 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 0:16

aaas how sad:( I'm so sorry!!

xstewie16x 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 4:44

not gonna lie, I laughed sooo hard at this

ILUVMSC 5

Wednesday 11 May 2011 4:32

that's messed up.... I'm sorry... :(

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The Top

Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 792

You deserved it 11 207

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 2 157

The Top

Today, my dick of a neighbor tried to file a noise complaint against me, all because I have the flu and am sneezing a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 385

You deserved it 1 624

Today, I dislocated my big toe doing a stupid stunt to impress a woman, who turned out to be married anyway. The toe won’t go back in, so the doctor thinks it might need a surgical fix. I don’t have insurance so this is going to be fucking expensive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 1 464

Today, I called my mom to ask for some help with my dishwasher. Somehow, the call got turned into a video call. I was wearing a bathrobe, and she was naked in her bathroom. Most awkward call ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 053

You deserved it 5 016

Today, I found out that when I text my boyfriend, he isn't the one to read them. Instead, he pays his friend to "keep the bitch busy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 007

You deserved it 6 995

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend sobbing so I went over to comfort her. She didn't want to talk about it, but was inconsolable. I called her best friend to help out, as maybe it's easier for her to talk to a woman instead. I found out from her friend that my partner's ex got his new girlfriend pregnant. That's why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 77

Today, I was leaving a cafe with some of my friends. I had to sit in the back of the car by myself. I opened the door when I saw an old woman needing help getting to her car because it was raining. I shut the door and went to help. My friends thought I had gotten in. I was left in the rain with no phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 971

You deserved it 5 362