Health: Today, I woke up thinking after wearing glasses and contacts...

By kiriakousauce21 - 15/02/2010 07:44 - France

Today, I woke up thinking after wearing glasses and contacts all my life that I had miraculously been corrected to 20/20. Turns out I had just fallen asleep with my contacts in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 860

You deserved it 32 850

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Same thing different taste

By Liz - 08/07/2019 00:00

Today, I woke up, and I could see perfectly. Somehow, during the night, my eyes magically became 20/20. I was overjoyed, until I realized I'd fallen asleep with my glasses on. My eyes are still trash, and I want to cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 649

You deserved it 587

By anon - 20/06/2014 05:06 - United States - Kennett

Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 345

You deserved it 24 742

By monster1109 - 10/08/2015 15:51 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I got into the shower with my glasses on by mistake. I spent 5 minutes convinced that the fog in my vision was me going blind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 279

You deserved it 9 347

By idiot - 04/01/2013 10:13 - Sweden

Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 187

You deserved it 12 957

By l0stnwundrland - 24/01/2011 08:01 - United States

Today, I went to the eye doctor. For the past three days every time I wear my glasses I become nauseous, get migraines, and have that "fish-eye view" where everything is rounded. Turns out they placed my lenses on the wrong sides. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 820

You deserved it 3 055

By farmakakis - 21/12/2009 06:25 - Australia

Today, I wore a pair of glasses with no lenses because I thought I'd look smarter. I ended up poking myself in the eye several times, leaving it swollen. So much for making me look smarter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 647

You deserved it 56 641

By KBO - 08/06/2009 06:54 - Australia

Today, I woke up hungover and thirsty, I found a glass of water next to the sink, filled it up with more water, chugged it and went back to bed. I woke up an hour later to my best friend telling me she thought she lost her contacts. They were in a glass next to the sink. I ate her contacts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 068

You deserved it 43 446

By Kyle - 10/05/2011 10:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I searched frantically for my glasses for ages. After giving up, I realised I could see perfectly. I had been wearing them the whole time and neither my mother nor my father told me because "it was far too funny" watching me yell "Where the fuck are they?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 992

You deserved it 46 996

By blinded - 11/02/2011 16:14 - United States

Today, I went to get a facial. I forgot my contact case so I put them into paper cup. My beautician thought it was leftover water from someone else, and threw my only pair of vision aid away. I scuttled home half blind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 184

You deserved it 26 821

Comfy

By chrono64 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found a pair of glasses in my car. I don't wear glasses, and nobody besides myself has been in my car lately. It appears that someone has been sleeping in my car and forgot their glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 808

You deserved it 3 434

pahiina20 0

Monday 15 February 2010 16:37

That's really bad for your eyes.

jessxoxo28 5

Monday 15 February 2010 16:38

lmao, doesnt it suck to wake up to reality?

Comments

ZombieBunnies 0

Monday 15 February 2010 16:52

Maybe your super hero powers are awakening. All hail OP-tron!!

CupCakeGirl101 0

Monday 15 February 2010 16:52

dosent that ruin ur eyes

HeeeB21 0

Monday 15 February 2010 16:54

yea that would suck thinking ur all good until reality sets in lol

wearworkboots61 0

Monday 15 February 2010 16:56

That happens to me to! it was crazy...

visage 0

Monday 15 February 2010 17:02

My dick is 13" long and my semen tastes like chocolate covered strawberries. Do you believe that too?

FerrariCake 2

Monday 15 February 2010 17:07

Well, if your dick is 13" long I guess that would explain how you know what your semen tastes like.

Sirin_fml 46

Monday 15 February 2010 18:35

Ugh, Pendatic... just... ugh...

Freeze_fml 16

Monday 15 February 2010 18:46

*thumbs up*

Sandrellae 0

Monday 15 February 2010 19:31

rofl

aperales28 0

Monday 15 February 2010 17:05

haha I've done that before...and thought the exact same thing

IzzyAiles 0

Monday 15 February 2010 17:11

Me too! I thought I was spider man, just without the web powers.

KurouTenshi 0

Monday 15 February 2010 17:06

yeeeaaah, even with corrective lenses your vision only gets progressively worse. the only way to get 20/20 is surgery :P sorry to break it to you.

Vehicle 1

Monday 15 February 2010 17:10

definitely a MLIA not FML :)

visage 0

Monday 15 February 2010 17:13

I had LASIK in 2002, and it still gets worse :(

purplemnm 9

Monday 15 February 2010 17:14

oh god....haha!!! you're dumb.

VampirePenguin 0

Monday 15 February 2010 20:17

Actualy, anyone could make that mistake, as you have less consciousness than a drunk right after waking up.

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The Top

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 124

You deserved it 40 856

Today, I wanted to show my friends my cat’s “high-five” trick. I held out my hand, and instead of a high-five, my cat scratched and bit me instead. I yelped, and my friends burst into laughter. I had to bandage my hand, all whilst they joked about “cat training.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 375

The Top

Today, my friend and I offered a hot girl a lift home from campus. I was sitting in the passenger seat and she climbed in behind me. As I adjusted my seat forward to give her more leg room, my friend pulled off - slamming my seat back into her legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 146

You deserved it 4 257

Today, I came home and walked into my living room to see my roommate passed out naked, porn autoplaying on the living room TV, a killed 12-case of beer, and dried jizz all over the couch from God knows how many loads. “I thought you were coming home tomorrow,” he said. At least the sofa is leather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 131

Today, I realized the birthmark I have on my chest isn't a birthmark at all; it's a third nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 828

You deserved it 4 557

Today, I was chewed out by my boss for reporting someone not wearing a mask in our store, because, "no one likes a snitch." I'm the security guard. It's my job to report that to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 166

You deserved it 154

Today, I turned 22. Instead of cutting my own cake, I stood by and smiled at a friend's belated birthday party. Her birthday was actually two months ago, but she decided to have her party on my birthday. No one remembered mine but everyone got her beautiful gifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 019

You deserved it 5 106

Today, my ex girlfriend is sleeping over at my house. At some point while she was preparing to dump me, she became best friends with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 155

You deserved it 2 798

Same thing different taste

Comfy

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