Love: Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck...

By dumping time - 25/11/2012 22:38 - United Kingdom - Aylesford

Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck you" note from my girlfriend, and my door slamming shut. I'm starting to get the distinct impression I shouldn't have made that off-hand remark last night about her PMSing, after she rage-quit a game of Mario Kart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 098

You deserved it 30 852

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

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Same thing different taste

By NYCguy - 20/01/2010 03:59 - United States

Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 716

You deserved it 15 774

Carrier pigeon

By Anonymous - 10/03/2022 12:00

Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 91

Modern warfare

By Anonymous - 19/02/2022 01:59

Today, I get the feeling my wife is mad at me. I have no evidence to support this, except she ran me a bath with a bath bomb and a shit load of chilli powder, so like I say, no hard evidence except the excruciating burning in my asshole, peehole, ballsack, nostril and eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 240

You deserved it 204

Overbearing girlfriend

By Jake - 16/09/2013 19:08 - United States - Albany

Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 475

You deserved it 8 259

By becca - 29/10/2012 03:39 - United States

Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 055

You deserved it 3 713

By Anonymous - 11/07/2015 02:42 - United States

Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped her. She said I'm going to pay and that one day, when I think I'm safe and happy, my joy will turn to ash in my mouth. When I pointed out she'd just ripped off a Game of Thrones quote, she kneed me in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 565

You deserved it 4 031

By Anonymous - 07/01/2010 00:29 - Canada

Today, I entered my bedroom, ready to play some COD on my xbox 360. Instead, I find a note where my xbox used to be. It read "You think you can cheat on me and get away with it? Fuck you. I smashed the hell out of your stupid xbox." It was signed by my girlfriend. I never cheated on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 933

You deserved it 3 462

Thanks, I guess

By Anonymous - 03/01/2011 10:08 - United States

Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mario Kart, she decided to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 158

You deserved it 8 518

By Anonymous - 01/11/2014 18:23 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 857

You deserved it 5 521

Mario Kart is serious business

By Anonymous - 25/08/2014 05:44 - United States - Bowling Green

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 847

You deserved it 8 600

Paco_el_Taco 17

Monday 26 November 2012 2:56

At least she didn't shoot a blue shell of doom at you.

iOceanus 18

Monday 26 November 2012 3:02

Especially when playing Mario Kart. Mario Kart is a serious matter!!

Comments

SoylentCandycorn 10

Tuesday 27 November 2012 2:14

Blurgh, second time my comment went to the bottom instead of the replies.

Svengalien 3

Tuesday 27 November 2012 2:29

Time of the month or not, I dunno how long it will take some guys to figure out that needlessly antagonizing their girlfriends with these misogynistic and cliche remarks is gonna end badly.

SoylentCandycorn 10

Tuesday 27 November 2012 2:42

Women accuse each other of "being on the rag" or say things like "must be that time of the month" all the time. "PMSing" is also used by both genders to describe freaking out in general. Is it an n words privileges thing?

Levvy 22

Tuesday 27 November 2012 15:56

"End badly". I like that. Like she wasn't in control of her actions, as though it were just some kind of inevitable, uncontrollable outcome of the situation in which she has no responsibility. Hm. Sounds a little misogynistic, that. How ironic.

nyxiny 22

Tuesday 27 November 2012 4:57

While it's a jerk move to say something like that, you don't deserve that kind of response. First off, she ragequit. Secondly, what kind of crazy bitch does that? Seriously. Please note that I am a woman.

winkydog4056 16

Tuesday 27 November 2012 8:10

Girlfriend is agreeing with OP. She IS PMSing.....she's Putting up with (Her) Man's Shit. Period. The End.

winterlies 8

Tuesday 27 November 2012 13:07

Wow... She needs a major chill pill, and I oh so adore how instantly women acuse men of being a misogynist simply by making a PMS joke. Girls do it as well, but it's okay because they don't have a dick, is that right?

Levvy 22

Tuesday 27 November 2012 15:26

Not that PMS jokes are a big deal exactly, but, well... yeah, your sarcastic rhetorical question kinda hits the nail on the head, actually. In-group vs. out-group humor. It's a thing humans do. Get used to it.

Levvy 22

Tuesday 27 November 2012 15:54

I should probably qualify that "inappropriate joke" is not remotely proportionate to "tormenting people with chemicals", in case that was at all ambiguous.

funnyfails1 13

Tuesday 27 November 2012 23:46

At least they're burning and not chopped off.

slapsface 10

Wednesday 28 November 2012 0:55

Haters gonna hate!

Elendil_fml 10

Wednesday 28 November 2012 3:45

I know your pain, brother. I tried to use BenGay as lube when I was 13.

at0micmin3r 23

Wednesday 28 November 2012 7:43

OP doesn't deserve it. Crazy girl needs to GET OVER HERSELF. IT'S MARIO KART, NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. FYL... And so what if she was PMSing? Learn to control it, lassies! JS.