Love: Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck...

By dumping time - 25/11/2012 22:38 - United Kingdom - Aylesford

Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck you" note from my girlfriend, and my door slamming shut. I'm starting to get the distinct impression I shouldn't have made that off-hand remark last night about her PMSing, after she rage-quit a game of Mario Kart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 098

You deserved it 30 852

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

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Same thing different taste

By NYCguy - 20/01/2010 03:59 - United States

Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 716

You deserved it 15 774

Carrier pigeon

By Anonymous - 10/03/2022 12:00

Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 91

Modern warfare

By Anonymous - 19/02/2022 01:59

Today, I get the feeling my wife is mad at me. I have no evidence to support this, except she ran me a bath with a bath bomb and a shit load of chilli powder, so like I say, no hard evidence except the excruciating burning in my asshole, peehole, ballsack, nostril and eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 240

You deserved it 204

Overbearing girlfriend

By Jake - 16/09/2013 19:08 - United States - Albany

Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 475

You deserved it 8 259

By becca - 29/10/2012 03:39 - United States

Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 055

You deserved it 3 713

By Anonymous - 11/07/2015 02:42 - United States

Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped her. She said I'm going to pay and that one day, when I think I'm safe and happy, my joy will turn to ash in my mouth. When I pointed out she'd just ripped off a Game of Thrones quote, she kneed me in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 565

You deserved it 4 031

By Anonymous - 07/01/2010 00:29 - Canada

Today, I entered my bedroom, ready to play some COD on my xbox 360. Instead, I find a note where my xbox used to be. It read "You think you can cheat on me and get away with it? Fuck you. I smashed the hell out of your stupid xbox." It was signed by my girlfriend. I never cheated on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 933

You deserved it 3 462

Thanks, I guess

By Anonymous - 03/01/2011 10:08 - United States

Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mario Kart, she decided to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 158

You deserved it 8 518

By Anonymous - 01/11/2014 18:23 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 857

You deserved it 5 521

Mario Kart is serious business

By Anonymous - 25/08/2014 05:44 - United States - Bowling Green

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 847

You deserved it 8 600

Paco_el_Taco 17

Monday 26 November 2012 2:56

At least she didn't shoot a blue shell of doom at you.

iOceanus 18

Monday 26 November 2012 3:02

Especially when playing Mario Kart. Mario Kart is a serious matter!!

Comments

zuelhater 7

Monday 26 November 2012 17:41

That's a new level of pain right their!! OUCH

noisebox 1

Monday 26 November 2012 18:42

You could end the insanity by just living solo and just dating ms Palmer.....

thejust666 6

Monday 26 November 2012 19:00

She was'nt using Yoshi, was she?, lol

KiddNYC1O 20

Monday 26 November 2012 22:36

I've tried it on my penis(don't ask). It's actually a neat sensation.

Ally156 5

Monday 26 November 2012 22:48

What's Icy Hot??

EST4LIFE 3

Monday 26 November 2012 22:56

Bitches be trippin

linnie_wesker 20

Monday 26 November 2012 23:11

YDI. There's more to women than their menstrual cycles. I hate how every single time I'm irritated or pissed off or whatever everyone is automatically like, "What, are you on your period?" No, moron, shockingly I can feel angry even if my ****** isn't bleeding.

Levvy 22

Tuesday 27 November 2012 15:28

So, one offhand comment is the same thing as thinking that there is nothing to an entire half of the population but their menstrual cycles? Leaping to conclusions like that doesn't do you any favors in terms of NOT looking emotionally hair-trigger.