Love: Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than...

By Anonymous - 26/04/2015 07:09 - Australia - Burwood

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 978

You deserved it 2 961

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Busted

By Anonymous - 31/12/2008 23:41 - France

Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 899

You deserved it 2 850

By anonymous - 21/02/2011 05:01

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 990

You deserved it 14 930

By Noname - 27/01/2009 11:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 351

You deserved it 28 338

Alexa, play "Asleep" by The Smiths

By Anonymous - 01/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 668

You deserved it 222

Phone-blocked

By unamyous - 08/06/2012 13:26 - United States - Canoga Park

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 660

You deserved it 4 166

By hornyloser - 02/05/2011 18:46 - United States

Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 890

You deserved it 70 397

Frustrated

By skipper - 12/02/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 814

You deserved it 12 089

By Anonymous - 28/03/2009 20:18 - United States

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524 615

You deserved it 37 039

By Anonymous - 11/09/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 765

You deserved it 3 624

Boundaries, dude!

By Anonymous - 14/09/2019 06:01

Today, I was awoken by the sound of my dorm roommate having sex three feet from me. He was sober, knew I was there, and has a deployed military girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 497

You deserved it 236

meatball4122 11

Monday 27 April 2015 0:24

Please tell me she atleast pays the phone bill

IAmzephyr 22

Monday 27 April 2015 0:28

plot twist: she was having sex with the phone

Comments

Tiny_AKA_Me 3

Monday 27 April 2015 15:07

Was it Jake? Jake from State Farm ?

cappellaaa 23

Monday 27 April 2015 15:42

Was it her job that you didn't know about? haha awkwarddd

TheTripleThreat 9

Monday 27 April 2015 15:56

You better have dumped the bitch faster than she could hang up. If you don't dump her, that kind of person is the only kind you deserve.

Xepez 5

Monday 27 April 2015 20:08

It was Jake from state farm

necrotitus 7

Monday 27 April 2015 20:26

Been there. I feel for ya brother.

gabagabaheyu 10

Monday 27 April 2015 21:26

maybe she is trying to make some extra money?

ObsidianMoon17 12

Tuesday 28 April 2015 0:01

She probably thinks you're a heavy sleeper..

cobybeltran 4

Tuesday 28 April 2015 2:59

Maybe it's jake from State Farm

mosquito19 14

Tuesday 28 April 2015 5:24

maybe she was talking to her mom.

martin8337 35

Tuesday 28 April 2015 7:53

so what are you wearing?

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I got into an argument with my boyfriend, who recently had to move away, about not calling me enough. Apparently his moving had meant that we were now taking a break, he just forgot to talk it over with me. He still wants to visit, and keep the relationship in bed alive though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 669

You deserved it 4 364

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I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 21

The Top

Today, my obnoxious bully of an aunt forced me to walk a mile to the store in the rain to buy her a lottery ticket. When I got back, she thanked me by scream-singing “When Somebody Loves You” in the most ear-rapingly atrocious caterwaul imaginable. We’re staying with her for the rest of the week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 158

Today, I was lifeguarding at a community pool when I noticed a toddler go underwater. I quickly jumped in but suddenly got a cramp, which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 758

You deserved it 10 039

Today, I blacked out while riding my electric scooter. Luckily, I was quickly jolted awake when my chin hit the tarmac. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 213

Today, I stepped in a turd. Not a dog turd, my grandmother's turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 086

You deserved it 4 730

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 391

You deserved it 115 808

Today, I realized that my life would make an excellent meme: Nerd girl goes to college, finally loses virginity; gets chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 119

You deserved it 13 970