Love: Today, I woke up to NYPD detectives banging on my door with flashlights,...

By ari - 17/06/2011 11:06 - United States

Today, I woke up to NYPD detectives banging on my door with flashlights, looking for some criminal who used to live in my house. Apparently, when they showed the man's mugshot to my neighbors upstairs, for some reason they identified the man as my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 643

You deserved it 3 023

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By Pissed - 28/10/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I found out that the "burglar" I caught, punched, and tied up for the cops was actually my wife's secret lover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 87

By Anonymous - 29/04/2009 23:12 - Canada

Today, I came home from work and went to open the door. I Iooked through the window and saw a man in my house. Terrified, I called the police. They came, searched the house, and found nothing missing. I went back inside and looked through the window and saw him again. It was my reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 526

You deserved it 79 371

Memories

By exasperated - 17/04/2014 03:14 - United States - Houston

Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories' sake". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 190

You deserved it 4 621

Never try this at home

By Anonymous - 06/08/2023 13:00 - United States - Grass Valley

Today, a bunch of cops showed up at my house demanding to see my wife to make sure she was OK. Turns out my insane out-of-state daughter swatted me, calling 911 to tell them I had tied up my wife, and been impersonating her for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 134

By :(( - 25/04/2012 18:46 - United States - Saint Petersburg

Today, I heard my neighbors having a violent argument in their front yard. I listened in, and soon found out why the wife wasn't happy with her husband. Apparently, she had caught her husband peeking through my windows for the second time this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 922

You deserved it 2 397

Confess!

By hitandrun - 10/08/2009 18:28 - United States

Today, I hit a parked car and fled because I was so scared. Four hours later, the cops showed up at my house so I broke down crying confessing everything. Turns out, they weren't there about the car I hit. They were alerting me about the string of burglaries in my neighborhood recently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 225

You deserved it 76 119

By ThatAintLogical - 18/12/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I slipped as I was about to take a shower, knocking myself out cold. I woke up to someone banging on my door. It was a cop checking to see if I was okay. When I asked how he knew to come, he said he was notified by "a male neighbor who called anonymously." I guess I have a peeping Tom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 203

You deserved it 2 546

Leave me alone

By MIB - 13/07/2011 16:26 - United States

Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 737

You deserved it 2 825

By Ava_Darkflame - 01/01/2017 15:54 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 514

You deserved it 168

He's let himself go

By whatwasithinking - 14/10/2020 17:01

Today, I took my kids to our local swimming pool. When we arrived, there were several cop cars parked outside and a group of officers interrogating a creepy, haggard-looking old man who was in handcuffs on the bench. As we got closer, I realized the man was my ex-husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 320

You deserved it 148

luis72091 0

Friday 17 June 2011 15:53

you're married to a criminal lol

cgchamp89 7

Friday 17 June 2011 15:56

Used to? Maybe your husband is like the Craiglist killer and you just don't know it

Comments

parxxx 0

Friday 17 June 2011 16:04

Aww I'm sorry..you married a criminal.

marinus_fml 19

Friday 17 June 2011 16:05

At least they weren't banging your backdoor ;)

bonnie_vb8 5

Saturday 18 June 2011 18:56

ur ripped...

cgchamp89 7

Friday 17 June 2011 16:05

LOL I'm not familiar with NYPD... only Chicago PD. What's the NYPD way?

cgchamp89 7

Friday 17 June 2011 16:07

damn... was meant for 14 :(

mintcar 9

Friday 17 June 2011 16:08

While you were being searched, your neighbors were sitting back having a good laugh. FYL. Something like thar must've been pretty scary.

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 17 June 2011 18:12

Yeah. We all love a good strip search, as long as we're not the ones being searched. Body cavity searches can be a real bitch.

MsSoulReaper 27

Friday 17 June 2011 16:09

Maybe your neighbors hate your husband.. they are trying to get rid of him.

obnum 19

Friday 17 June 2011 16:17

maybe the criminal is ur husbands identical twin brother, or maybe ur neighbors just aren't sure what ur husband looks like for some reason.

xGraycloud 4

Friday 17 June 2011 16:18

Hahaha wow. Well, either you married a criminal or your neighbors want your husband to get the **** out. Either way, FYL.

abstar89 0

Friday 17 June 2011 16:22

nice neighbors.

alazae 0

Friday 17 June 2011 16:22

; Lmfao

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 306

You deserved it 3 563

Today, I found out that when my best friend and I were kids, our parents would cancel playdates when either of us opted to not go to church. They said it would, "strengthen our faith." We are now both adults and staunch atheists for that reason, and we're spending way more time together to make up for this crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 144

The Top

Today, I came to the unsettling realisation that the 2XL jacket that was originally 3 sizes too big for me is now a perfect fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 392

You deserved it 508

Today, I finally thought that my mother was okay with me being a lesbian. Then, over dinner, she turns to me and says, "So, do you still think you like girls, or are you going to start being normal again?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 804

You deserved it 11 179

Today, my husband is finally fully recovered from getting decompression sickness during our scuba diving vacation. Today is also the day I snapped my femur in half while skiing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 076

You deserved it 283

Today, I was playing songs at a funeral in my church. As the organ wasn't in tune I had to use an electronic piano instead. All was going well until in the end of a speech, I accidentally hit the 'demo' button. None of the grieving relatives were impressed by my drum beats and turntable scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 592

You deserved it 7 476

Today, my husband taught our son how to pee while standing. His aim is as poor as my husband's, but I guess now they can blame their mess on each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 557

You deserved it 1 812

Today, I got bitten at work. Not by a patient's mouth, but by the false teeth they were holding in their hand as they clamped down on my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 834

You deserved it 609

Same thing different taste

Gotcha

Memories

Never try this at home

Confess!

Leave me alone

He's let himself go

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