Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I...

By Anonymous - 28/10/2015 15:09 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 630

You deserved it 3 138

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Zack - 01/04/2012 21:36 - United States - Duncannon

Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 749

You deserved it 26 521

By IceMage - 18/01/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 644

You deserved it 39 423

By bTOhno - 13/08/2011 06:37 - United States

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 058

You deserved it 4 732

Peaky Bladders

By Anonymous - 16/06/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house, dying to pee during a thunderstorm. Ran to the bathroom, but it was occupied. A huge thunderclap scared me pretty bad. When the door finally opened, my girlfriend's mom walked out, laughing. I realized the thunder scared me into peeing my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 460

You deserved it 453

By nerdygirl101 - 13/03/2010 05:27 - United States

Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 702

You deserved it 4 315

Caught

By Anonymous - 25/10/2015 02:47 - United States - Apollo

Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 615

You deserved it 7 922

By Anonymous - 20/12/2014 14:41 - Australia - Edgecliff

Today, I took a late-night shower. When I got out afterwards, the bathroom door was ajar, and I could have sworn I heard the faint patter of footsteps in the kitchen. "It's probably the cat," I told myself. Then I went upstairs and saw my cat asleep on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 094

You deserved it 2 895

By Anonymous - 17/04/2012 20:53 - United States - International Falls

Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 387

You deserved it 2 044

Scaredy cat

By amazinghermit - 25/11/2014 04:21 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I spent an hour in my car terrified to go inside because I thought my house was being burgled. I saw rapid shadows in the light of my lounge. Eventually I plucked up the courage to creep inside with a rock to find it wasn't a robber. It was my cats, fighting in front of a toppled lamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 194

You deserved it 6 579

By killmenow - 23/04/2014 14:54 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 832

You deserved it 14 406

dontlookman 20

Thursday 29 October 2015 0:15

At least you got out instead of wasting time setting up cameras waiting for proof your house is haunted

Welshite 39

Thursday 29 October 2015 0:13

Chucky is waiting. Or one of those blasted Furbies. I swear they only exist to suck the souls out of the living.

Comments

luckyduck55 12

Thursday 29 October 2015 5:51

You are one smart ******. Never be ashamed of what you did. There won't be a movie about your death because you're not stupid!

sloth115 18

Thursday 29 October 2015 6:11

Can't wait to see the fml saying "I went to my bfs house to give him a surprise, but suddenly he got up and left as soon as I was going to show myself"

fmlashl 13

Thursday 29 October 2015 9:34

hahaha, yess

zyero 9

Thursday 29 October 2015 6:16

Yeah I had a black furby once black eyes, the thing would turn on randomly at night when the battery should have bee. Dead and the voice box was fading. Wake up to demonic garbling and glaring red eyes staring at you through the glass cabinet of your entertainment system.

Badkarma4u 17

Thursday 29 October 2015 6:27

What time are you going back to pick up your manhood.

SecundusSecunda 27

Thursday 29 October 2015 6:43

There will be no manhood left when that child-ghost is done killing OP for staying!

shonic 16

Thursday 29 October 2015 6:59

please leave a comment of what was giggling 0.o

ohSNAPyall 26

Thursday 29 October 2015 6:59

You did the right thing.

Dominus101 20

Thursday 29 October 2015 7:22

Sheesh that's pretty creepy alright, This is exactly why I quit watching scary movies, especially late at night before bed FYL OP

musicfreak1646 14

Thursday 29 October 2015 7:47

Well it was for sure not Michael Myers or Jason Voorhees. Possibly Chucky or Freddy Krueger. I would have done the same thing and got the hell out of there.