Kids: Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked... - FML

By Anonymous - 01/05/2015 20:41 - United Kingdom - Oundle

Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 387

You deserved it 3 651

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Same thing different taste

Stunned silence

By Anonymous - 20/12/2014 22:42 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 184

You deserved it 3 914

By njh - 27/03/2015 13:29 - Ireland

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 342

You deserved it 3 612

By I don't know, son - 16/11/2013 01:53 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 847

You deserved it 4 781

By Anonymous - 03/07/2015 20:51 - United States

Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 109

You deserved it 4 035

Kids talk

By SerenityJ - 27/09/2013 20:00 - United States - Mountain View

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 037

You deserved it 7 151

By super maman - 30/09/2014 03:08 - France - Montauban

Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 711

You deserved it 5 499

By blah blah daddy - 02/10/2010 23:08 - United States

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 427

You deserved it 10 379

By Anonymous - 25/11/2013 19:47 - United States - Olive Branch

Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 964

You deserved it 13 842

By Anonymous - 19/10/2014 20:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 489

You deserved it 5 786

Little twit

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 03:38 - United States

Today, my 7 year-old brother asked me what "horny" meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 742

You deserved it 7 132

Next

Top comments

captain_crook 17

Saturday 2 May 2015 8:34

someone who likes succulent chicken? :P

rxsey16 16

Saturday 2 May 2015 8:35

So you're the dad I'm assuming? Better go talk to your wife.

Comments

captainsmegma 12

Saturday 2 May 2015 16:29

Have junior Google it.

drrobotnik1 18

Saturday 2 May 2015 21:21

"today, I was beta."

weatherxveins 29

Saturday 2 May 2015 23:16

Whether this is an fml or ydi really depends on whether or not you're actually a cocksucker.

Ianamis 6

Sunday 3 May 2015 1:35

No one deserves to have their child brainwashed into thinking their Dads an asshole irregardless of the situation. Would you say the same if it was reverse and the child asked their mother what a bitch was because Dad always calls you a bitch?

natashamilan 13

Saturday 2 May 2015 23:19

My dad calls me a cocksucker every day...

ciammmm 11

Sunday 3 May 2015 3:27

This made me giggle. When my husband and I play argue or when he burns me with a joke hilariously, I call him a cocksucker. Hahahaha. Of course we also have a habit of calling each other *****, floozies, and trollops. Maybe it is her nickname for him ;) L for looove!

PePziNL 20

Sunday 3 May 2015 4:07

Well... Are you one?

gintwinsmoore 20

Sunday 3 May 2015 4:59

My mom called my dad a **** sucker all the time when I was a little girl and I never forgot that. When I turned 18 I finally asked her why. She said he WAS a **** sucker. LOL!

BtwYoureAdopted 21

Sunday 3 May 2015 10:55

Am I the only one who found this deeply confusing at first?

briannaaaleighhh 14

Monday 4 May 2015 4:30

Ever since I was little my dad always said that around me, and I always thought it was a bad word for shit because I didn't know what a dick was XD

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The Top

Today, myself and my pug entered a novelty dog competition at the local fair. We won first prize in the lookalike contest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 250

Today, my roommate wanted me to try out a new bus route home, I knew it might take longer but she really wanted me to try, so I went with her. After waiting for ages at The Exchange bus stop for the last bus home, we missed it, and had to take an Uber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 174

The Top

Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 801

You deserved it 5 013

Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell your mugger you are going to call the police because he will come back and steal your phone too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 385

You deserved it 36 394

Today, I added the wrong reaction to a Facebook post, using the laughing smiley instead of the hug, and only noticed two hours later, when my friend wouldn't talk to me because she thought I like found the fact that her dog died funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 298

Today, I picked my baby up from my babysitter's house. As I was getting him ready for bed, I saw blood and immediately went into a panic, rushing to the hospital and trying to contact her to see if my baby fell and she didn't tell me. Turns out it was just hot Cheeto dust mixed with drool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 289

You deserved it 1 892

Today, I found an empty parking space in a crowded parking lot. When I came back later, a lady and a cop were standing by my car. Her car used to be parked there and got stolen. They think I'm involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 645

You deserved it 1 905

Today, I got back the results of an allergy test I decided to get because I felt generally tired after meals. Turns out that I'm allergic to, among other things, meat (yep, is a thing), nuts (of course), milk, egg, rice, carrot, apple, yeast (as in bread), and even soy. Seems I'm allergic to… food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 91