Miscellaneous: Today, it dawned on me that I've been married for 6 months, but... - FML

By broooooock - 16/07/2009 01:04 - United States

Today, it dawned on me that I've been married for 6 months, but because of the Army I've spent only around 12 days total with my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 622

You deserved it 13 425

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By AlwaysGottaFML - 20/08/2011 07:26 - United States

Today, I found out that instead of being stationed in Afghanistan, my husband of 9 years has been "stationed" at his other girlfriend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 585

You deserved it 3 987

Just Dependa Things

By Anonymous - 14/04/2022 13:00 - United States - Springfield

Today, I came home from a one-year Army deployment, only for my wife to tell me she feels claustrophobic with me in the bed. She then asked for a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 215

You deserved it 108

Long distance

By singlesailor - 19/09/2009 06:18 - United States

Today, I'm in my fourth month of training in the US Navy. I'm 3000 miles from home. I joined to give my wife a better life. Since I've been gone, she decided that she liked being single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 540

You deserved it 4 466

By copenhagen20 - 05/03/2010 20:21 - United States

Today, I'm seven months into a twelve month deployment. I called my fiancée, and she dumped me. The worst part is that two days ago, I re-enlisted to go to a unit an hour away from her house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 241

You deserved it 2 505

By the other man - 28/08/2013 03:11 - United States - Fort Smith

Today, I learned that the girl I've been seeing for 6 months is actually married. She just dates me when her husband is pissing her off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 032

You deserved it 3 925

By gj09 - 22/11/2009 20:03 - United States

Today, my family sat me down and told me I was spending way too much time with my boyfriend and not enough time with them. My boyfriend has been away in Iraq for six months and just came home a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 737

You deserved it 2 596

Hat Up

By Anonymous - 30/01/2021 13:01 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, my partner was sent 450 miles away by the army, after he had been home for only 22 hours. Yesterday they told him he could come home for 2 weeks. I guess the British army doesn't want me to be happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 212

By Beanzbeanz - 09/07/2011 15:19 - Canada

Today, is the 6 month anniversary of my boyfriend and I. Turns out next month he will be celebrating the 3 year anniversary of him and his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 035

You deserved it 10 514

Catfished

By Travis - 12/02/2023 06:00 - Poland - Polska

Today, I found out after 6 months in basic training that my wife of 3 years was playing the long game to scam me. She took me for 25k while I was away, then left me for a homeless meth head. I've been "getting divorced" now longer than we had been happily married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 127

You deserved it 158

Great surprise

By Deployed - 07/12/2019 14:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I came home from an eight month deployment to find my wife four months into her pregnancy. She actually thinks that I believe it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 704

You deserved it 190

Next

Top comments

dotVillain 1

Thursday 16 July 2009 10:25

Last time I checked, we were free before we were in this war. We actually invaded THEM. Not to say I don't have respect for the troops, but we are fighting in a war that isn't ours. And for my pre-determined response to the people that will ramble on about how they attacked us first: Not one Iraqi has ever killed any of our people on our soil. 9/11 was mainly Saudi Arabians. As for OP, I'm terribly sorry for you. I don't think your life is fuckable, nor do you deserve it at all. You have a wife that loves you enough to stick by you for long periods at a time without seeing you. Be happy you have her, she sounds like a great girl.

girlnexdoor 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 9:45

So this guy is crazy about me, but we haven't ever been on a date because he went to the marines before he contacted me again. He was supposed to come back in June but it was postponed till August. So I know how that sucks for you. Hopefully things will get better. (I support you for being in the Army, btw)

Comments

baby_val 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 6:29

aww I soery babyboy =[

HalfLit 17

Saturday 1 April 2017 0:22

It's part of the sacrifice of being a soldier dude. You knew what you were getting into. A marine wouldn't bitch about it.

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The Top

Today, mid-sex, my wife told me to call her a nasty slut. I was kind of uncomfortable doing it, but I did it to make her horny. She started crying, because she didn’t realise how much it would hurt her feelings. Now I’m not sure if she’s mad at me or herself, but I’m scared either way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 737

You deserved it 280

Today, I have a stutter that gets worse with stress. We got a new supervisor today and the first thing she said to me was, “Either spit it out or write it in an email, for fuck's sake!” I’m now so scared of her, I go almost mute if we’re in the same room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 93

The Top

Today, a customer told me it was bullshit we couldn't serve coffee because of the COVID restrictions, and added that the protests and riots happening are because people are bored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 365

You deserved it 258

Today, I attempted to snoop around my daughter’s room, because I suspect her of having sex with her boyfriend behind my back. Hoping to find the evidence, I went to her room as soon as she left for school. Turns out she rigged her bedroom door. With glitter. Uh oh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 2 897

Today, my 5 month old son decided that my lip ring was a toy. Thinking it would be ok, I let him touch it. He got his finger caught and pulled his hand back. The lip ring is still in, but now I have a huge gaping hole in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 512

You deserved it 53 855

Today, my girlfriend of eight years explained to me that the Egyptian pyramids were built by aliens from Mars. I have a B.S. in Biology and an M.S. in Anthropology, and I'm working on my Ph.D. She thinks I'm an irrational idiot for telling her she's wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 100

You deserved it 10 180

Today, my boyfriend told me I looked pretty. I said, "Aww, that's the first time you've said that to me." He replied, "Well, it's the first time you've looked pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 409

You deserved it 9 599

Today, my four-year-old son received a 20 Euro bill from his grandmother. Since he couldn't fit the bill into his piggy bank, he tore it up into a bunch of tiny pieces to make it fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 552

You deserved it 596