Miscellaneous: Today, it's my birthday. What did I get? A 12-hour work shift,...

By Anonymous - 10/07/2015 22:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's my birthday. What did I get? A 12-hour work shift, after spending an almost sleepless night in a computer chair because my bed is infested with bed bugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 650

You deserved it 2 797

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Same thing different taste

Happy birthday to me

By lukey101 - 20/07/2023 02:00 - Australia

Today, it’s my birthday. My boss treated me to a day off work, except my mother called at 12:01am drunk as hell screaming, “Happy birthday” down the phone. When I finally fell back asleep, I awoke to my boss asking me to come in after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 115

By Juanald - 05/11/2017 05:00

Today, after being moved to three different employer-provided apartments because they all had mold and electrical problems, I requested a bigger bed. The bed they delivered had bedbugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 674

You deserved it 380

Alexa, play "Unhappy Birthday" by The Smiths

By Anonymous - 24/03/2022 14:00 - Germany

Today, it's my birthday. I spent the day doing nothing but chores, amongst which baking my own birthday cake. I was then so exhausted that I couldn't even stand my own company, so I ate the cake alone on the couch, watching TV. It didn’t taste great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 177

Happy birthday!

By sambo99 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. So far I have received: the news that my parents are divorcing, a dead bird and a pile of shit left on my bed (courtesy of the cat), a rash all over my face, and some slippers from my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 993

You deserved it 3 368

By Anonameow - 19/07/2016 13:49

Today, I woke up to an unexpected surprise for my birthday. It wasn't cake, nor ice cream. It was hundreds of baby spiders crawling all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 889

You deserved it 2 506

By Birthday blues - 13/12/2018 22:00

Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 036

You deserved it 601

Social safety nets, now!

By Anonymous - 26/08/2022 04:00 - Malta - Tarxien

Today, it was my birthday. I spent a pleasant day with one of my best friends, then I spent four hours in the emergency room because my husband broke his foot while working. We're both self-employed, so production is going to fall 6 weeks behind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 142

By fml - 21/02/2015 02:54 - United States - Denver

Today, three days after finally having a bed to sleep on, I woke up with multiple bedbug bites. I can't use my blankets, wear any of my clothes and it's back to sleeping on the floor for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 389

You deserved it 2 630

Nice way to end the day

By welp - 27/12/2015 05:08 - United States - Grass Lake

Today, I worked a short shift at work, getting sent home early because it was slow. In the time I was gone, my family decided surprise me by rearranging my room and put in my new desk. They also surprised me when I learned that they'd spilled a slushie on my very expensive computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 552

You deserved it 1 356

Surprise!

By WitchQueenLiz - 28/06/2009 08:25 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. Normally, the little office I work in throws a big party for every employee on their special day, but nothing was done for me, not even a "Happy Birthday" came my way. I didn't want to be rude, so I stayed silent. They didn't do anything because I was getting laid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 764

You deserved it 3 181

ChopSuey444 20

Saturday 11 July 2015 13:34

Happy birthday, anyway, OP!

MrConcise 34

Saturday 11 July 2015 15:50

Can I just spill your glass of water so it's empty instead of half full?

Comments

domolovesyoshi 33

Saturday 11 July 2015 17:37

Usually if the bed is infested so is the rest of the house, including the floor

Fmlreadermostly 20

Saturday 11 July 2015 18:59

Get diatomaceous earth. A mask and gloves to use it. It will help immensely

momo081 1

Saturday 11 July 2015 21:17

Happy birthday though things will get better

iPixelCheese 19

Saturday 11 July 2015 21:34

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

okaydisarray 17

Saturday 11 July 2015 22:07

Or it will be soon if he keeps sleeping someplace other than the bed. They will follow you OP....

diensthunds 8

Saturday 11 July 2015 22:22

Suck it up. Military members spend their birthdays in combat zones every day of the year.

limabeans101029 20

Saturday 11 July 2015 23:32

While that's a very horrible fact, that doesn't make OP's situation any better.

rohan111993 13

Saturday 11 July 2015 23:38

How can anyone say op deserves this without knowing they are a major dicksnatch on purpose?

supertacowaffle 41

Sunday 12 July 2015 0:57

Happy birthday OP, we have the same one :)

raysmith121 10

Sunday 12 July 2015 1:39

Welcome to adulthood

janfleury 19

Sunday 12 July 2015 5:01

Happy Birthday. I hope the coming year is much better.

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, after about a year of keeping it a secret from my girlfriend, I told her about my foot fetish. She said "EWWWWWWWW!" and left. She's ignoring my calls and has changed her relationship status to single on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 573

You deserved it 6 604

Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 435

You deserved it 10 095

The Top

Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 502

You deserved it 13 208

Today, I've been single for so long, I got butterflies when I went on a date. A date with a character in Grand Theft Auto. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 159

You deserved it 2 665

Today, the crazy bitch next door called the cops for me spying on her from my bathroom window. That window was painted shut by the previous owner, and I haven’t unsealed it yet. I had to show this to the cops to prove I have no illegal motive for pissing in my own toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 164

You deserved it 76

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131 677

You deserved it 7 573

Today, my secret crush, who sits next to me in Bio, asked if he could borrow my notes. I agreed. It was only after he drove away, with my notebook, that I realized that in the back of my notes, I had written his name 100 times, surrounded by little hearts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 399

You deserved it 43 069

Today, I finally got a reply to the letter to a celebrity that I had to write for my English class. It was a restraining order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 384

You deserved it 7 790