Miscellaneous: Today, it's my birthday. What did I get? A 12-hour work shift,...

By Anonymous - 10/07/2015 22:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's my birthday. What did I get? A 12-hour work shift, after spending an almost sleepless night in a computer chair because my bed is infested with bed bugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 650

You deserved it 2 797

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Happy birthday to me

By lukey101 - 20/07/2023 02:00 - Australia

Today, it’s my birthday. My boss treated me to a day off work, except my mother called at 12:01am drunk as hell screaming, “Happy birthday” down the phone. When I finally fell back asleep, I awoke to my boss asking me to come in after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 115

By Juanald - 05/11/2017 05:00

Today, after being moved to three different employer-provided apartments because they all had mold and electrical problems, I requested a bigger bed. The bed they delivered had bedbugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 674

You deserved it 380

Alexa, play "Unhappy Birthday" by The Smiths

By Anonymous - 24/03/2022 14:00 - Germany

Today, it's my birthday. I spent the day doing nothing but chores, amongst which baking my own birthday cake. I was then so exhausted that I couldn't even stand my own company, so I ate the cake alone on the couch, watching TV. It didn’t taste great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 177

Happy birthday!

By sambo99 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. So far I have received: the news that my parents are divorcing, a dead bird and a pile of shit left on my bed (courtesy of the cat), a rash all over my face, and some slippers from my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 993

You deserved it 3 368

By Anonameow - 19/07/2016 13:49

Today, I woke up to an unexpected surprise for my birthday. It wasn't cake, nor ice cream. It was hundreds of baby spiders crawling all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 889

You deserved it 2 506

By Birthday blues - 13/12/2018 22:00

Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 036

You deserved it 601

Social safety nets, now!

By Anonymous - 26/08/2022 04:00 - Malta - Tarxien

Today, it was my birthday. I spent a pleasant day with one of my best friends, then I spent four hours in the emergency room because my husband broke his foot while working. We're both self-employed, so production is going to fall 6 weeks behind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 142

By fml - 21/02/2015 02:54 - United States - Denver

Today, three days after finally having a bed to sleep on, I woke up with multiple bedbug bites. I can't use my blankets, wear any of my clothes and it's back to sleeping on the floor for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 389

You deserved it 2 630

Nice way to end the day

By welp - 27/12/2015 05:08 - United States - Grass Lake

Today, I worked a short shift at work, getting sent home early because it was slow. In the time I was gone, my family decided surprise me by rearranging my room and put in my new desk. They also surprised me when I learned that they'd spilled a slushie on my very expensive computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 552

You deserved it 1 356

Surprise!

By WitchQueenLiz - 28/06/2009 08:25 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. Normally, the little office I work in throws a big party for every employee on their special day, but nothing was done for me, not even a "Happy Birthday" came my way. I didn't want to be rude, so I stayed silent. They didn't do anything because I was getting laid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 764

You deserved it 3 181

ChopSuey444 20

Saturday 11 July 2015 13:34

Happy birthday, anyway, OP!

MrConcise 34

Saturday 11 July 2015 15:50

Can I just spill your glass of water so it's empty instead of half full?

Comments

One_Way 43

Sunday 12 July 2015 5:38

Why did you not request the day off from work?

GhostFox 33

Thursday 16 July 2015 8:27

They very well could have and been denied. Or maybe they needed the hours. It could even be that their boss is the sort of person who fires you for even asking.

blackhawksgirl 2

Sunday 12 July 2015 7:05

Hey if you need any advice on bedbugs .. Been there done that it really sucks and it's hard but you can get rid of them ... Remember no spray or exterminator can kill eggs only kills the live ones ... only heat will kill the eggs ... 100 degrees or 8 hrs or 130 for one ... Good luck!!!

blackhawksgirl 2

Sunday 12 July 2015 7:07

Btw..... happy birthday

Quasars 10

Sunday 12 July 2015 7:34

Merry Birthday

imbedderdenu 23

Sunday 12 July 2015 13:23

Happy Birthday. Many more will suck. But there will also be some amazing ones to make up for those I'm sure :). Chin up OP

LVtaytay 12

Sunday 12 July 2015 20:43

It's definitely one you'll never forget, but not in the way you'd would want to be. Anyways happy birthday OP

MERICAN_REDNECK 10

Sunday 12 July 2015 21:21

It was my birthday on the 10th as well! Hey I got a pair of shorts from my mom and a few bday cards from family, don't worry treat yourself for the weekend!

sirhavok747 4

Monday 13 July 2015 7:58

Probably would be bette off sleeping on the floor.

ftloosenfanzfree 7

Monday 13 July 2015 15:00

Tell them you have bedbugs and I bet they'll send you home.

emchocolat_fml 25

Tuesday 14 July 2015 16:17

It was my birthday on the 10th as well... 30 years old ^^. I got: _leaving my flat in the morning, handing over keys and doing a check-round with the estate agent to make sure everything was OK _going round electricity, water and insurance companies to cut it all off, then back to the estate agency to give them proof of all this _travelling to the other side of the country, near the airport, in order to take the plane the next day to leave the current country forever ...and all of this with two howling cats! Happy belated birthday!