By thanks, fuckface - 16/11/2012 19:42 - United States - Parachute

Spicy
Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 186
You deserved it 4 170
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Top comments

annalily5 28

Normally I'd be offended that a Lord of the Rings reference would turn you off, but no matter how awesome he is, Gollum and sex are thoughts that should never be mixed. Ever.

298 7

Comments

tomhofer 14

I'm so psyched for The Hobbit it's gonna be good

54 5
ALlamaOnFire 20

You don't even understand how hyped up I am:) me and my dad (yeah my dad! We're huge LOTR fans) are gonna see it at midnight:') *fangirl over*

1 1
LolFMLnot 10

I don't understand all these women complaining on FML about funny guys . . .

45 17
laurenvec 3

Seriously! Some women need a sense of humor.

11 5
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10

Well I can agree with that for most of those FMLs, but as they say, orgasms don't grow on trees.

31 2
gracehi 31

It would be pretty awesome if they did though. "Yep, this one looks ripe... Oh... Ooooooooh yeeeeeeaaaah..."

47 2
Sir_Swaggington 6

Because there's a time and a place for everything and that wasn't it lol. If you were about to cum and a girl did something gross that instantly turned you off, I'm sure you'd be upset too. Yes, during sex Gollum = gross

11 0
whatsupbitches 4

OP's username..is she referring to her boyfriend as "fuckface" just for saying that? Harsh, OP, harsh.

8 11
nancyschmancy 9

Ops user name is ******* awesome!

1 1
traveler_ghost 12

I pictured that...the whole withering away thing...nice thanks for that

31 1
trp2wondrland 9

I did too! Yuck!

4 4
lulzcoaster 3

how can it whither there are so many wrinkles already

2 12
annie_nk 22

I believe you're thinking of balls or labia. A clit isn't wrinkly.

11 0
pandalover69 26

I love Lord of the Rings but even that's too creepy for me, but calling your boyfriend fuckface is pretty harsh

22 4
I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Something has to make you run, I don't know why you didn't come. Are you as empty as a drum? I don't know why you didn't come.. My precioussssss.

6 8
DoubleBlumpkin 4

God I just came in my pants after reading this.

3 12