Work: Today, like every day, I walked into my office and was greeted...

By lpspann87 - 24/09/2011 21:34 - United States

Today, like every day, I walked into my office and was greeted by the smell of shit wafting through the air. My lactose intolerant, diabetic coworker won't stop eating Whataburger and milkshakes for breakfast, no matter what his body tells him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 108

You deserved it 2 580

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Same thing different taste

By Brendan - 19/02/2011 21:23 - Canada

Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 976

You deserved it 4 147

TW: Gross

By mpfrost153 - 01/11/2021 12:00 - United States

Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 142

You deserved it 129

Symphonic

By Anonymous - 30/01/2014 22:46 - United Kingdom - Preston

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked, "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 827

You deserved it 4 914

Bad day

By it hurts!! - 29/05/2023 21:00 - United States

Today, I double checked with the barista to make sure my latte had soy milk. After a few sips, I could tell it wasn’t but it was too late. I’m so sensitive to dairy, I spent the rest of my work day trying to stifle the gut busting cramps and noxious fumes. I had a meeting I couldn’t reschedule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 909

You deserved it 163

The sweet smell of success

By joshua - 06/08/2011 00:18 - United States

Today, I started work at my new job. I was excited to have been given an office of my own, but shortly after sitting down at my desk, the door across the hall opened and an unspeakably murderous stench that could've curdled milk seeped in. My office is opposite the men's room. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 784

You deserved it 2 771

Chain reaction

By gassy - 15/07/2015 11:15 - United States - Winter Garden

Today, whilst still trying to potty train my puppy and keep her from both peeing and pooping in the house, my lactose intolerance kicked in full fledge. Every time I pass gas, she smells poop and believes it's okay to immediately drop a deuce on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 334

You deserved it 4 035

By Stinkbomber - 24/02/2017 14:00 - United States - Woonsocket

Today, at work, our grease traps were getting cleaned out. My desk is right next to the vent for outside air, and veryone thought I crapped myself and wouldn't go near me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 893

You deserved it 475

By Ammile - 25/12/2018 04:00

Today I had a customer come into my office smelling like feces, urine and body odor. I tried not to get sick to my stomach but failed miserably. I threw up in my trash can in front of him. It now smells like feces, urine, body odor and vomit in here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 908

You deserved it 197

By Anon - 20/01/2017 22:00

Today, as any other work day, I sat down for lunch. Unfortunately, the door to the toilet is right next to where I sit. Every time a colleague uses the toilet, I hear everything, which puts me off my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 119

You deserved it 1 732

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 21:34 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 019

You deserved it 5 401

bfsd42 20

Sunday 25 September 2011 1:59

Shove a cork up his ass.

heavymetalman1 0

Sunday 25 September 2011 1:59

Sounds kinda shitty...sorry op

Comments

Wheredidgrungego 12

Sunday 25 September 2011 2:19

I must be the only kid in America who has never had Whataburger. I feel so deprived :(

steadycreepin 5

Sunday 25 September 2011 2:53

Well you need to get you some! Cause it's good!(:

AlwaysCracked 6

Sunday 25 September 2011 3:49

Don't worry. I didn't even knew it existed until I read this FML.

KhronicSmoke 2

Sunday 25 September 2011 3:57

Don't worry you ain't missing out on nothing, that foods crap

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Sunday 25 September 2011 9:09

I've never tried it, nor do I ever plan on it. So don't you worry 27, there will always be me.

Bently24 6

Monday 26 September 2011 7:39

I have never tried on either, never even heard of one. They probley dont sell it on the west coast

wwiillmm 12

Friday 20 November 2015 4:52

It's only in the south for the most part but it is really good.

FarSide 22

Sunday 25 September 2011 2:19

Quit being a drama queen. Shit, WhataBurger, and milkshakes do not equate.

xlord 27

Sunday 25 September 2011 2:22

Don't worry mother nature will beat the shit out of him... Literally

Jesus_Christ69 0

Sunday 25 September 2011 2:27

Get him some pills.

panvicka 16

Sunday 25 September 2011 2:28

dont worry, he is gonna get sick soon... and will be replaced with someone much worse lol, fyl

leadman1989 15

Sunday 25 September 2011 2:32

The simplest solution to this problem is to hire a homeless guy to break into the what-a-burger he frequents and replace the ingredients with lactose free ones. Or just pay the same homeless guy to beat him up and "deliver" a message!