Intimacy: Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On...

By arctic1 - 27/05/2009 09:45 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 327

You deserved it 68 710

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By illequipt - 16/03/2009 03:20 - Canada

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 566

You deserved it 32 065

Handy

By Anonymous - 06/03/2011 18:15 - Sweden

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 901

You deserved it 11 994

By tigerbyrn - 30/05/2016 15:35 - Canada - Scarborough

Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 066

You deserved it 2 096

Not now, dude

By Anonymous - 25/10/2014 18:44 - United States - Montgomery

Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 201

You deserved it 7 319

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:56 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 464

You deserved it 9 862

By Anonymous - 29/02/2012 10:07 - United States

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 573

You deserved it 49 433

By BlackPolarbear - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 133

You deserved it 29 773

Bazinga

By Anonymous - 20/03/2009 15:07 - United States

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were hugging when she put her feet on my feet. We started walking around like that and I said, "This is hard to maintain." She replied with "So's your erection." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 692

You deserved it 17 084

By shallowvomit1013 - 23/12/2009 01:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 042

You deserved it 5 426

By Anonymous - 01/03/2011 16:21 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 046

You deserved it 45 872

fatfaceunited 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 16:29

How do you forget you have a boner? Generally they're pretty apparent. Unless you have a small dick in which case the mom probably didn't feel it

warmvanillasugar 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 16:30

A congrats hug for what?

Comments

ohhhhno 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 18:06

Its probably congrats for graduating High School? I highly doubt her mom was congratulating a hand job...

illeyad 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 18:13

Your post is confusing, are you saying that you got a 'congrats hug' because you forgot you had a boner?

were_giraffe 2

Wednesday 27 May 2009 18:17

#11 that's all i could think of too. and... how did her Mom react to being poked with it?

Octiskeet 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 18:18

#27- Hah, the first half of my reply was written purely for the satisfaction of mocking #15. Also, I don't see how any part of the rest of your post was relevant or necessary. That was just a tad creepy.

shootintacos 0

Monday 24 October 2011 3:36

a tad? more like creepier than William dafoe.

gelt 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 18:21

play your cards right and you will get a threesome

dang_fml 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 18:22

how did you forget??? lmao!

lmmmr 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 18:37

#18 is right. #15 is a moron. #31 has no place commenting on the quality of writing in an FML if they are not aware of the proper usage of badly vs. poorly.