Kids: Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue... - FML

By mcase - 31/07/2012 05:36 - United States - Compton

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 226

You deserved it 4 983

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Same thing different taste

By leosmom - 25/11/2018 03:00

Today, I used a glue stick instead of my Carmex lip balm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 970

You deserved it 1 267

By TriangularBanana - 10/12/2016 22:50 - United States - Houston

Today, I babysat my little cousin. He thought that a glue stick would have the same effect as chapstick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 792

You deserved it 757

By finalfantasy - 21/06/2018 17:30 - United States - Aurora

Today, my brother thought it would be absolutely hilarious to replace my cold sore cream with superglue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 853

You deserved it 267

Stop right there

By wtfmama - 04/05/2013 12:51 - United States - Hudson

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 191

You deserved it 11 246

By chapstick - 09/01/2014 03:23 - United States - San Dimas

Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 896

You deserved it 13 695

By Disappointed - 04/10/2014 03:08

Today, my teenage daughter asked me to buy her the morning after pill, saying, "It's for my acne." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 802

You deserved it 5 127

Revenge

By Natasha - 20/02/2021 21:30

Today, because I wouldn’t let my little sister have any more cookies, she snuck into my room while I was sleeping and superglued my lips together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 084

You deserved it 119

By Anonymous - 24/12/2010 05:02 - Australia

Today, I helped out with makeup at my daughter's high school play. As one girl walked past, I told her that she'd smudged pink lipstick all up the side of her face. Turns out it was a birthmark. She cried in the dressing room for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 045

You deserved it 12 480

By Anonymous - 26/05/2019 17:15

Today, I got a call from my 14-year-old step-daughter while I was out. She'd left nail polish in her pocket when she'd tried to wash the clothes. I now have hot pink streaks on most of my work clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 745

You deserved it 136

By Anonymous - 05/04/2011 16:48 - United States

Today, my 3 year old daughter decided to put black nail polish over the webcam lens on my laptop because "It wasn't all black, so I decided to fix it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 909

You deserved it 6 013

Next

Top comments

Jiinxx 8

Tuesday 31 July 2012 11:59

I bet you're so incredibly proud.

xlord 27

Tuesday 31 July 2012 12:00

at least you now know if she's been kissing any boys

Comments

charla6609 2

Tuesday 31 July 2012 16:30

She's just an idiot....

Enslaved 36

Tuesday 31 July 2012 16:32

Our lips are sealed? Such a GoGo thing to think. Hush, my darling Don't you cry Quiet, angel Forget their lies

TheWhiteBunny 3

Tuesday 31 July 2012 16:34

OMG like someone got like a blonde to be quiet. Like omg I never thought I'd see the day. Like you know what I mean. Friend is like, well like, a freakin genius!

pandabear125 0

Tuesday 31 July 2012 18:16

wtf

rockerlove2013 6

Tuesday 31 July 2012 16:36

Hahahahaha BLOND MOMENT

jayfreeman80 0

Tuesday 31 July 2012 17:12

Your 17 year old has the brains of a toddler. YDI

erinchick1 7

Tuesday 31 July 2012 19:55

I think toddlers are smarter than that! Hahaha

1coolchic 4

Tuesday 31 July 2012 17:16

Yeah, at 17, she definitely should have known better. Maybe she could sue her mother for allowing her to grow up to be such a moron...

briancallahan 3

Tuesday 31 July 2012 17:32

As far as I can see, YDI because she didn't learn enough from you as a parent so that she wouldn't do that.

Sandman366 6

Tuesday 31 July 2012 17:38

O, humanity's future, where art thou?

spongeydude4 2

Tuesday 31 July 2012 17:47

Oh, world, you never cease to amuse me.

tomjenkins 0

Tuesday 31 July 2012 17:47

I hope you've got that child on birth control!

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The Top

Today, I went to the airport to pick up my long-distance boyfriend. Having waited six months for this, I was stoked. After waiting for three hours and sending numerous messages, I was eventually informed I was a week early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 823

You deserved it 14 281

Today, I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were three girls loudly discussing blowjob techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was, "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 371

You deserved it 29 702

The Top

Today, I was doing a fitness test. Though clumsy, I managed to spin around a bat then dash across a balance beam, run through some tires, and walk across a log floating in water. Pleased with my performance, I walked to the bathroom, tripped on my shoelace, and bust my head on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 556

You deserved it 5 484

Today, my husband wants to leave me because I’m “taking too long” to recover from my C-section and he’s “tired of jerking off.” His logic is that he recovered in 6 weeks after he got 12 stitches on his leg, and, “I’ll be fine.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 496

You deserved it 172

Today, as I was walking into my apartment building, a douchebag leaned out his truck window and yelled, "HOW MUCH FOR A BJ?" He then pulled into a spot near my car. Apparently I have a charming new neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 582

You deserved it 2 919

Today, I almost got upgraded to business class because the gentleman at the check-in was so mortified at having called me "sir" instead of "mam." However, before it could go through, his colleague stopped him, telling me that it was "an easy mistake to make." FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 236

You deserved it 647

Today, I jokingly asked my husband if he was going to make it to our first child's christening as there was a football match on at the same time. Without hesitating, he replied that he would just watch the recording. He meant the recording of the christening. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 502

You deserved it 6 398

Today, after saving for months to have a few hundred bucks set aside, the government sent me a car tax bill from 2010. Yep, 8 years ago. They want the interest on the bill too. Broke again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 854

You deserved it 280